A Fate Worse Than Destiny

Cine Review: THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU
12A – 106mins – 2011
Screenplay by: George Nolfi
Based on “The Adjustment Team” written by: Philip K. Dick
Directed by: George Nolfi
Starring: Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, Anthony Mackie, John Slattery, Michael Kelly, Terence Stamp
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This is exactly the type of film I usually adore, but even the trailer didn’t grab me as anything special. My primary issue was that I found the central premise of “being on the run from your own destiny” to be incredibly cheesy, and yet I went to see it regardless. You see, when you’ve got a Cineworld Unlimited card and you don’t hand over nearly £10 per visit, you’re less fussy about what you watch on the big screen. And taking a risk can sometimes change your life. Which in a roundabout way is what The Adjustment Bureau is all about…

For the majority of this loose George Nolfi adaptation of a Philip K. Dick short story I was adequately content, even though the science fiction element plays second fiddle to the love story between “people’s politician” David Norris (Damon) and playful ballerina Elise Selles (Blunt). The lead actors spark fantastically and their banter feels authentic; it’s love at first sight. However, fate has another agenda and portal-hopping, hat-wearing members of the eponymous team set about “correcting” destiny so the pair never sees each other again.

Why? Because everything happens for a reason in the grand scheme of things, provided the omnipotent “Chairman” (an unseen, God-like master) wants it to. Otherwise his bureaucratic “angels” are dispatched to make subtle but influential changes which will affect your life for the good of the scheme without you ever knowing. The predicament is, after not missing his bus and turning up to work ten minutes earlier than he should have – catching the bureaucrats in action – David now knows, and he’s a determined individual who won’t give up on the love of his life without a chase.

The problem with these mind-bending, intellectual thrillers (Inception likewise springs to mind) is that their fantastical, futuristic premises are so mired in their own rules, that they can all-too easily fall apart if you think about them too logically. The agents of fate are so unattached to humanity that they repeatedly send millions of people to their death – so why do they risk their entire covert operation by revealing themselves to David, instead of erasing his mind instantly? Other than the film ending after five minutes, it seems like an almighty risk for the sake of one life, regardless of his political potential.

Furthermore, agent Richardson (Slattery) warns David that if he ever utters a word of their existence to anyone, his mind will instantly be wiped. Yet even when David does eventually disclose all to Elise, all he has to do is knock one of them out, pop on a piece of portal-jumping headgear and go on the run. From an omnipotent power?! Hmmm… The team seem far too incompetent to wield such power, with a rogue agent (Mackie) even actively going against his orders and assisting David just because he feels bad for him!! And our lives are in his over-sentimental hands? Chairman help us…


In a CR@B Shell: The romantic aspect and “fate versus free will” debate sizzling under the thrilling surface are entertaining enough, but when the plot hinges on such loose reasoning, it’s hard to suspend disbelief and take the jump into The Adjustment Bureau.
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Angelic Possession

DVD Review: LEGION
15 – 97mins – 2010
Written by: Peter Schink and Scott Stewart
Directed by: Scott Stewart
Starring: Paul Bettany, Dennis Quaid, Lucas Black, Tyrese Gibson, Adrianne Palicki, Charles S. Dutton, Jon Tenney, Willa Holland, Kate Walsh, Jeanette Miller, Kevin Durand, Doug Jones
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God has lost faith in humanity. Again. But whereas the last time he summoned a flood to wash over the land, this time he has charged his legion of Angels with the task of possessing the weak-minded to wipe out those who put up a fight. Only one – Archangel Michael (Paul Bettany) – dares defy the Lord's word, and he is expelled from Heaven and dropped to Earth.

He lands in Los Angeles (where else?), where our protagonist cuts the wings from his own back and raids a Korean gun factory for an arsenal of automatic weaponry. Apprehending a police car, Michael heads to the aptly named Paradise Falls, an out of the way diner cut off from civilisation in the Mojave Desert, to ward off the Apocalypse and save humanity by overseeing the impending birth of mankind's saviour... All in a day's work.

It's a sumptuously mouth-watering cinematic prospect: God's supernatural minions shedding their angelic façades to face off against a pocket of human resistance. Imagine the fun directors could have with that unholy battle to end all battles? Alas, a prospect it remains, as it seems the creative force behind Legion's cameras had far too much fun with the CGI-crammed face-off sequences, that they forgot to string them together with a logical or enrapturing narrative.

Watching an ice cream vendor (Doug “Abe Sapien” Jones) roll up to the diner in his jingle tooting van before his limbs elongate freakishly and he lumbers spider-like towards the holed-up patrons, or a kindly OAP (Jeanette Miller) sprout animal fangs and crawl on the ceiling taking chunks out of people's necks is all thrilling stuff (the granny scene in particular is a real hoot, although that may be because it was the first), but a good movie individual set-pieces do not make.

Particularly not when the plot doesn't make a lick of sense (why do the Angels even need to possess people rather than just attack themselves? Why did God let things end the way they did?) and the ever-diminishing band of human characters do little to evoke our sympathy. Everyone has a mountain of issues and all they seem to do is argue. There's the diner owner Bob Hanson (Dennis Quaid), his naïve-but-loving son Jeep (Lucas Black), the hook-handed, bible-loving cook Percy (Charles S. Dutton) and the everywoman waitress, Charlie (Adrianne Palicki), who is pregnant with the second coming (although the writers don't have the balls to say so outright).

They are joined in the desert by frustrated family the Anderson's – Howard (Jon Tenney), Sandra (Kate Walsh) and their rebellious teenage daughter Audrey (Willa The O.C. Holland) – and single dad Kyle (Tyrese Gibson). The film rambles from eye-popping set-piece to set-piece, killing off the braindead cast in all manner of madcap ways, and there is such an almighty gap between the prologue which introduces Michael and the fallen Angel's appearance at the diner that you've almost forgotten what the point of any of it is and you're just gorging on the spectacle.

By the time Angel Gabriel (Kevin Durand) belatedly turns up to kill Charlie's baby (yep, she gives birth) and finish the job Michael refused, the film is beyond redemption and all logic has been thrown out the window of a speeding truck. The possessed hordes, it transpires, cannot actually harm the baby, allowing Jeep, Charlie, her child and Audrey to walk straight through them and drive away, while the poor new born is able to survive being dropped and a high-speed car crash without suffering a single boo-boo!!

You know what they say, God: if you want a job done properly... don't hire Peter Schink and Scott Stewart.


In a CR@B Shell: Legion's intriguing premise is crucified for the sake of a handful of absurdly wacky independent set pieces, hung together by an incomprehensibly weak narrative delivered through vacuous characters. All in all a doomsday disappointment.
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