His Master’s Voice Impediment

Cine Review: THE KING’S SPEECH
12A – 118mins – 2011
Written by: David Seidler
Directed by: Tom Hooper
Starring: Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush, Helena Bonham Carter, Guy Pierce, Timothy Spall, Derek Jacobi, Jennifer Ehle, Michael Gambon
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Of the two major January film releases generating the most public and critical buzz, my initially reactions could not have been more polemic: Darren Aronofsky’s psychological thriller Black Swan (reviewed HERE) could not have arrived soon enough, whilst the idea of Tom Hooper’s The King’s Speech left me cold. “An entire film devoted to a monarch overcoming a stutter?!” I thought, “I’ll be bored senseless”.

I am happy to concede I was only half right. Black Swan, as my regular readers will be aware, blew me away as expected, whilst The King’s Speech – which I eventually caught up with at the cinema last night – overcame my apathetic prejudice to deliver a thoroughly warm and enjoyable two hours entertainment.

I’m sure even the film’s strongest advocates will admit that the story of the soon-to-be-King George VI (Firth) overcoming his s-s-s-speech impediment is hardly a knockout slice of blistering action and spectacle, but then not everybody wants to see TRON: Legacy (and even those that do may end up regretting it… see HERE). And for all of The King’s Speech’s regal quaintness, there is an amiable charm to the inspiring period drama.

Undoubtedly the film’s success boils down to the central chemistry between Firth – who must be commended for his convincing reproduction of the Duke of Windsor’s oral hindrance – and Geoffrey Rush (totally unrecognisable from his Captain Barbossa get-up), who excels in his role as Lionel Logue, the Australian speech therapist whose unorthodox methods and unlikely friendship help shape “Bertie” into monarch material.

Their interactions are a joy to behold, as the confidence-struck and impatient Duke is softened by Lionel’s optimistic, level-headed charm (and his insistence upon equality during their time together), and the cinema audience (still over three-quarters full nearly a month after general release) were often in fits of laughter as the vocal coaching often escalated into sharp exchanges of humanizing banter and profanity-strewn (but non-threatening) outbursts between the likeable pair.

Even as the Royal Family, saddened by the loss of their ailing sovereign (Gambon), make difficult decisions regarding their country’s most suitable successor and Britain heads ever-closer to a second world-changing war with Germany, Tom The Damned United Hooper's film is remarkable for chipping away at the pomp and circumstance of the establishment and portraying the real man struggling with a very real problem behind the crown.


In a CR@B Shell: A simple but engaging tale strengthened by a pithy script and some truly first class acting from the award-worthy leads. The King’s Speech is a pleasant and mature feel-good film which succeeds without the need for grandeur or vulgarity, and that truly is a crowning glory.
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Underland, Overland, Bonkers Are We

Cine-review: ALICE IN WONDERLAND 3D
PG – 109mins – 2010
Adapted for the screen by: Linda Woolverton
Directed by: Tim Burton
Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway, Crispin Glover, Matt Lucas, Stephen Fry, Barbara Windsor, Alan Rickman (I could go on...)
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Is Tim Burton mad? Well, yes: totally frickin' off his rocker (have you *seen* Beetlejuice?! Well, watch it again!), but then all the best directors are. They're still only human, however, and occasionally prone to producing weaker entries in amongst the masterpieces which comprise their illustrious filmographies (have you *seen* Planet of the Apes?! Well, don't bother). It is with a heavy heart that I suggest that Edward Scissorhands's creator's reimagining of the Lewis Carroll fairytale (and classic Disney 'toon) Alice In Wonderland falls into this most feared camp.

19 year-old Alice Kingsleigh (Mia Wasikowska) is wistful, imaginative and takes after her deceased father (Marton Csokas); she clearly doesn’t fit in with the prim and proper society in which she lives. On the verge of an unwanted wedding proposal from snooty Lord Hamish (Leo Bill), Alice is distracted by a white rabbit in a waistcoat and proceeds to follow the well-dressed lagomorph down a rabbit hole – only to land in Wonderland- sorry, Underland, a garish and hallucinogenic world where the animals talk, dodos still exist and a civil war is raging between the beautiful White Queen (Anne Hathaway) and her volatile usurping sister, the Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter, with digitally bloated bonce), with her army of playing card soldiers – a war which it is prophesised in a magical scroll Alice will end when she slays the Jabberwocky with the vorpal sword on the Frabbulous Day. Confused? Oh, you will be, as the bizarre character list escalates, the fabricated words get longer and the Underlandscape gets ever more curious and curiouser as Alice journey’s from castle to castle in the lead-up to the climatic battle… on a giant checkerboard.

Somebody fetch the aspirin...

Returning victorious to the real world, Alice turns down Hamish and addresses the gathering crowd of spectators, before talking business with Hamish’s father and suggesting they open up shipping routes with other countries. Riiiiiight. As the credits roll, Alice is bound to set sail for China on a ship called “Wonder”. D’ya see what they did there?! It’s a cloyingly twee resolution which is meant to demonstrate how Alice has grown from her adventures yet is still her father’s daughter, but I found it jarringly unexpected and wholly dissatisfying, given how only the briefest indication of her father’s line of work was in the opening conversation of the film – nearly 2 hours previous.

Clearly, it's all about the detail. And on a positive note, the film's attention to detail is truly sublime (check out the digital particles of dust and dandelion seeds which could so easily have been left out of the crisp CG world) and all the trademark Burtonian motifs are in place – demented concept? Check; nightmarish angular-branched forest? Check; Johnny Depp acting his arse off? Check. However, the one ingredient the director’s latest gothic fairytale is missing is heart, and that Underland displays in wanton excess, thanks to the theme-obsessed Red Queen. Therein lies the film's problem: there is too much muchness, but no teeth behind its beautiful big grin. In other words: Alice is a wholly shallow experience. Much like the ocularly-impaired Bandersnatch, you'll leave the cinema with your eyes aching, while your head will be more occupied with trying to make sense of the bonkers lingo than emotionally satisfied with the film’s message-laden framework.


CR@B Verdict: Visually stupendous but utterly demented to the point of disassociation, and with a weak resolution to boot. Much like Avatar, Wonderland is still worth visiting – at least in 3D – alas, Alice is not one of Tim Burton's greatest works.
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