A Lesson in Children's TV History

DVD Review: SAVED BY THE BELL – SEASON ONE
12 – 6 hours, approx. - 1989
Created by: Sam Bobrick
Executive Producer: Peter Engel
Directed by: Don Barnhart (15 episodes), Gary Shimokawa (4 episodes), Dennis Erdman (1 episode)
Starring: Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Mario Lopez, Dustin Diamond, Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, Elizabeth Berkley, Lark Voorhies, Ed Alonzo, Dennis Haskins
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It can sometimes be a mistake to revisit your favourite programmes from childhood as an adult, as the years – and your maturity – may not be kind to what you once revered. Thankfully, this is not the case with High School comedy series Saved By The Bell, and I thoroughly enjoyed my reunion with the gang from Bayside School, California. It fact, it was amusing how strong some of my memories of the series were: I could still give a verbatim rendition of the pop-tastic theme song, and some of the episodes were as clear to me as if I had only seen them a week ago, rather than over 15 years.

This is not to say that I am blind to the shows flaws. As likeable as the characters are, they are unashamed, hyperbolic stereotypes: Zack Morris (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) is the cool rebel in permanent detention, Kelly Kapowski (Tiffani-Amber Thiessan) the pretty cheerleader of his dreams, Samuel “Screech” Powers (Dustin Diamond) is the robot-building, ant farm-keeping dweeb, perpetually rejected by socialite fashionista Lisa Turtle (Lark Voorhies). Jessie Spano (Elizabeth Berkley) is the straight-laced, politically-minded feminist at loggerheads with new kid on the block, hunky muscle-man “AC” Slater (Mario Lopez), who also puts a crimp in Zack's style by taking a liking to Kelly. A buddy rivalry is born.

While young-at-heart school principal Richard Belding (Dennis Haskins) is the only member of the Bayside faculty to be a main character, the 25-year-old me can now fully appreciate the humorous ticks and traits indebted to the other put-upon teaching staff: hard of hearing English Lit. professor and Shakespeare enthusiast Miss Simpson (Pamela Kosh), monotonous and dryly sarcastic mathematician Mr Dewey (Patrick Thomas O'Brien), fast-talking, pop quiz-obsessed Mr Testaverde (John Moschitta). Such quirky idiosyncrasies really help to flesh out these reoccurring bit-part players, even if the purpose is generally cheap gags.

Given its youthful and impressionable target market, Saved By The Bell is also guilty of not so much presenting its lessons in teen life, more wrestling you into a locker occupied by its clear-cut morals: pranks never succeed, bullies never prosper, geeks are humans, too (even if they are named Nerdstrom, Poindexter and Geekman – bit of a contradiction, there), and honesty and friendship should be upheld over greed and fame. It's mawkish, predictable stuff.

But if you can withstand the compulsion to groan, this late 80's kid-com is also something of a mould-breaker, at times it is way ahead of its time: Zack frequently breaks the forth wall to deliver narration, exposition or witticisms to the audience at home, occasionally calling a “time out” on the action to alter the continuity by moving people and objects, usually in his favour. As if he wasn't big-headed enough, he also gets to play God!! The pink-framed dream sequences are also impressively surreal – Slater dressed in a giant lizard costume handing out ironic punissssshments to his neglectful friends following the death of his pet reptile Archie, is by far the most trippy – showing the writers were capable of thinking outside the box while delivering regimented plots.

The best episodes – “Beauty and the Screech” and “The Election” – are those with the most emotional gravitas, the least successful - “Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind” and “Screech's Birthday” – are those that stretch credibility to snapping point in order to deliver a message. The pilot episode, “King of the Hill”, detailing the first day of High School and Slater's first day in a new town, is jarringly held back until 16th in the season with only a voice-over sentence from Zack indicating it as a flashback. I am not sure why this anachronism isn't remedied for this new release.

Curiously, this 2010 boxset comprises just 16 of the 20 Season One episodes, spread across 3 discs. Given the show's age, the picture quality is hardly great, and this set – episode synopses and stills gallery aside – is basically vanilla. But what irritates the most is that the Region 1 release from SEVEN years ago contains both Season One (complete) AND Two – and is available from Amazon Marketplace for half the price of this belated Region 2 rip-off.

CR@B Verdict: Blunt, predictable and groan-illicitingly moralistic, yet cheesy enough to still provide a guilty snigger. 20 years on, fashion and trends have changed dramatically, but teens are still teens and Saved By The Bell has seen off all imitators to its crown to still rule the school sitcom genre. Just import the bargain R1 collection instead.
***

Hair of the Dog

Book Review: MY TALKS WITH DEAN SPANLEY
Written by Lord Dunsany
First published in 1936 by William Heinemann Ltd.
Film tie-in edition released in 2008 by HarperCollins
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Playwright, poet and novelist Edward Plunkett (published under his official title of Lord Dunsany) was most well renowned for his fantasy fiction, into which genre it is fair to say My Talks with Dean Spanley falls, for it truly is an utterly bizarre tail- I mean, tale. Over the course of the 14 chapter novella, the eponymous dean divulges a deluge of details of his supposed past life... as a dog named Wag (!) to a fame-hungry scientific writer, who dupes the religious leader into spilling the beans on his transmigratory secrets – by getting him drunk on Tokay at dinner parties.

The novella comprises of the dean's ridiculous rambles recorded verbatim (this is all in the name of science, after all), mixed with the writer's agenda-driven observational notes, making him a character in his own right. The formal and outdated prose style takes some getting used to, but it does help characterise the nameless writer – by highlighting his immoral (and surely unscientific?) ways. He readily admits to not having the Dean's wealthfare at heart; his goal being to “rob” the man of his regressive memories and publish them in a report on his “Investigations into the Origins of the Mentality of Certain Serious Persons”, therefore making him famous across Europe.

The Dean's irritatingly twee canine callbacks – including burying food to add to the taste, being beaten by his “Masters” and hunting with fellow mutt “Lion-hunter” – soon become increasingly repetitive, not only to us (indeed, only the shortness of the work convinced me to stick with it), but also to the author, who complains in his notes of the “common” and “ordinary experiences” the Dean details, in lieu of the “strange beliefs” of a “spiritual traveller.... from a past age”. In desperation, the writer invites more guests to his devious dinner parties, in the hope more Tokay will be drunk and more revolutionary secrets unveiled.

And so we reach the hallowed pay-off to these numerable talks with Dean, as the sozzled Spanley lays bare his most remarkable century-old reminiscences, revealing the truth behind canine homing skills, how they are able to sense rabies in other dogs before humans can tell, and much, much more. Except – and herein lies the moral of the story, kids – drinking glass for glass with his guests, the author blanks out and fails to remember anything the Dean has said. The same is true of the other individuals, leaving the scientific writer without any answers to his years-long studies.

Good, I say, for the in-story author was a low and despicable man who didn't deserve fame and fortune for robbing an honest – if decidedly eccentric – man of the cloth of his tipsy blathering. But did this ethical one-note twist* really require 122-pages of squandered preamble? Much like the Dean, I too feel duped into giving up so much of my time to the 'scientific' writer. If only I'd been wasted on Tokay also, the book would have been a far more entertaining read.

CR@B Verdict: So the whole point was My Talks with Dean Spanley was pointless? Wow, what a journey(!) - I'd rather have spent my time chewing on a bone... And no, that is not innuendo. Filthy mongrels.
**
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* It is no wonder screenplay writer Alan Sharp created a new major character (and a more emotional backstory) when he translated Dean Spanley for the screen, as a faithful interpretation would fail to warrant a 90minute running time. A review of the 2008 film will follow, in due course.