The Empire Strides Back

DVD Review: CENTURION
15 – 93mins – 2010
Written by: Neil Marshall
Directed by: Neil Marshall
Starring: Michael Fassbender, Dominic West, Olga Kurylenko, Ulrich Thomsen, Noel Clarke, David Morrissey, JJ Field, Liam Cunningham, Riz Ahmed, Imogen Poots, Ryan Atkinson
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Following the stellar double whammy of Dog Soldiers (2002) and The Descent (2005) – not to mention a near messianic level of admiration from Total Film magazine – it is a surprise to me that writer and director Neil Marshall’s subsequent releases (2008’s Doomsday and this year's Centurion) have been released to little fanfare. Indeed, Centurion’s cinema release must have been so limited it totally passed me by!

Sticking with his trusted blueprint of pitting an ever-diminishing band of heroes against a much larger and seemingly unconquerable enemy, Marshall here swaps the supernatural for the quasi-historical – although we’re still very much in his comfort zone of Scotland (Marshall’s beloved homeland and locale for all his previous films), even if it is known as Caledonia back in 117 AD.

Turning the tables on our expectations and favouring the invaders of the sword-slashing, armour-donning Roman Empire over the native, spear-throwing, warpaint-wearing Celtic Picts, Marshall mines the ambiguous legend of the ill-fated Ninth Legion (which was the film’s working title) for gritty, battle-heavy action/thriller gold.

According to historians (and lazy researcher’s best friend, Wikipedia), the 4,000 strong Roman legion marched into Scotland and just disappeared, never to be heard from again... Marshall creatively surmises that the military failure was wiped from the history books to keep the Roman governor of Britannia's record untainted, after a Pict sect lead by a mute, vengance-fuelled warrior (Olga Quantum of Solace Kurylenko) slayed the invading army for murdering their chief's (Ulrich The World Is Not Enough Thomsen) young son (Ryan Atkinson). Lovely chaps.

Yet here we are, siding with the pillaging Roman's, whose motley crew of seven Everyman survivors – lead by centurion Quintus Dias (Michael Hunger Fassbender) – first march north to rescue their captured commander (Dominic 300 West) from the Pict settlement, then head south (via the west, naturally: tactics, people!) to the supposed safety of their fortified garrison. It's a simple plot unburdened by too much character detail.

What Centurion does offer a lot of, however, is walking. Even when the two forces aren't walking towards one another, they're chasing after one another, weapons in hand and revenge in their eyes. And when the chase is up, they're fighting one another. Relentlessly. You see, Centurion also offers a grandiose amount of fighting, and Marshall doesn't skimp on the more spectacularly savage money shots. Many a head is separated from body, eye gouged out and limb hacked off – and we see every bloody strike and slash.

Away from the blistering action, the film’s washed out blue-grey palette, coupled with its misty woodland-shrouded landscapes and swooping aerial views of the Scottish Highlands, lend Centurion an epic and atmospheric quality similar to the obviously comparable Gladiator (2000). Although Neil Marshall's brisk and slimline 93 minute sprint will not remain as iconic as Ridley Scott's drawn out marathon, Centurion does deliver exactly what you would expect from a genre piece carrying the tagline "Fight or Die".


CR@B Verdict: Grisly, grimy and with gallons of gore, Centurion may not be perfect but what it lacks in brains it more than makes up for in brawn: Neil Marshall’s latest is a straight-up slice of hardcore popcorn entertainment.
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Creepy Crawlers

DVD Review: THE DESCENT: PART 2
18 – 90mins – 2009
Written by: J. Blakeson, James McCarthy, James Watkins
Directed by: Jon Harris
Starring: Shauna McDonald, Gavan O'Herlihy, Krysten Cummings, Douglas Hodge, Joshua Dallas, Anna Skellern, Natalie Mendoza
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A belated sequel without the mastermind of the successful and decidedly free-standing original at the helm is usually the sign of a cheap DTV cash-in which is best avoided. Think Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior. Shudder. However, The Descent: Part 2 generated healthy reviews upon its cinema release in December, and with Neil Marshall still on board (albeit only in the reduced role of executive producer), I decided to give this return underground a chance, despite the seemingly conclusive end to the original.

Part 2 picks up where the alternate (and moderately less depressing) US edit of The Descent (2005) left off, with lone survivor Sarah (Shauna McDonald) – who perished in the original UK version – back above ground and rambling towards a passing car. Unstable and near-mute from shock, she is soon forced by bull-headed town Sheriff Vaines (Gavan O'Herlihy) to leave hospital and return to the caves she has just barely escaped from, to help locate the five other missing girls who made up her tragic team. It's a dubious moral decision born out of desperation which feels like a slightly contrived way to shoehorn in a returning character for maximum screen time, but once the ragtag search and rescue team (of varying cave-diving experience) are below surface, this is by-the-by.

As Sarah's repressed memories of her horrific time in the caves return via interlaced snapshots from Neil Marshall's film, you begin to realise how dependant upon every aspect of the original this follow up is. This is not to say Part 2 offers no fresh twists or shocks, because it does (Crawler crapper!! Surprise saviour!!), but why bother making a new chapter if you need to mine the first so frequently? The only instance in which this works to the new film's advantage is in the introduction of the hideous, mutated Crawlers, which smartly mirrors similar footage the team have just discovered on a discarded camcorder.

Given the tight angles and shadowy hue of the underground locale, the horror is fairly intense and the gore is effectively visceral (a personal highlight is watching a rat force its way out of the mouth of one of the deceased original team, her body open and gutted) and at times cringingly uncomfortable (“Just cut him!”) as the rescue team gets ever smaller. It is ironic that the blind, Nosferatu-like creatures seem to have a predilection for human necks – I wonder if this was a purposeful reference to a classic light-adverse blood guzzler?

As the film winds on, Sheriff Vaines descends into an arrogant and thoroughly dislikeable character, making a host of rash, stupid decisions, from unholstering his gun in the unstable structure to unnecessarily employing his handcuffs despite the obvious need to, err, climb. Once a Sheriff, always a Sheriff, clearly... However, the only truly damaging misstep in this above average sequel occurs mere seconds from the closing credits, and it appears to defy logic. But, hey, you gotta give the fanboys something to moan about – and the rationalising theories are already in full swing on imdb.com!

CR@B Verdict: Creepy, gritty and claustrophobic, if a little over-reliant on its superior predecessor. The Descent: Part 2 is a decent horror which only really stutters in the closing moments with an unexpected and random twist.
***.5