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Blu Review: SCRE4M
15 – 110mins – 2011
Written by: Kevin Williamson
Based on characters created by: Kevin Williamson
Directed by: Wes Craven
Starring: Neve Campbell, David Arquette, Courtey Cox, Emma Roberts, Hayden Panettiere, Anthony Anderson, Adam Brody, Alison Brie, Marielle Jaffe, Rory Culkin, Erik Knudson, Mary McDonnell, Mary Shelton, Nico Tortorella, and the voice of Roger Jackson
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“What's your favourite scary movie?”

Jigsaw has his macabre creativity for death traps, Leatherface has his chainsaw and Freddy Kreuger has supernatural access into his victims’ subconscious. In comparison, Ghostface’s prank n’ stab routine doesn’t sound *quite* so inventive, but Kevin Williamson’s mask-wearing creation has another ace up its baggy serial-killing sleeve: a dynamite knowledge of horror film conventions and a depraved penchant for subverting the “rules” as it slices its way through murder hotspot Woodsboro. (Note I'm saying “it” to avoid any spoilers, not because I'm ill-mannered!)

“New decade. New rules.”

So promises the tagline for series reviver Scre4m (that's Scream 4 to the easily confused), but I wouldn’t go quite that far – it’s more a case of the same rules warped out of predictability for a new generation of more clued-up, iPhone savvy victims (at one point Ghostface must reiterate over the phone: “I'm not an app”). Nevertheless, there’s still much fun to be had in determining just who has donned the ghoulish mask eleven years after trouble magnets Sidney Prescott (Campbell), Sherriff Dewey (Arquette) and Gale Weathers (Cox) last survived a grisly slashing.

“One generation's tragedy is the next one's joke.”

It was good to see the trio of series regulars return (even if none of them have exactly been hot property since Scream 3), meanwhile we are also introduced to a hip new cast of up-and-coming-faces (Roberts, Panettiere, Culkin) who have grown up with their only knowledge of the horrific local events coming in the form of in-universe horror franchise “Stab” (now on instalment number seven – some sagas just don’t know when to stop!), based upon journalist Gale’s bestselling book. Now they have to apply their knowledge of the movies to stay alive for real.

“This isn't a comedy, it's a horror film. People live, people die and you'd
better start running.”

The in-jokes are slick, smart and hilarious (“Saw 5? I’m so over it - the same thing happens every time!”), with supporting roles and cameos granted to a number of “look who it is!” contemporary stars (Brody, Anderson, Brie, Anna Paquin, Kristen Bell). It’s just a pity that – after his previous effort, the inexcusably dire My Soul to Take, bombed – returning director Wes Craven’s otherwise solid latest entry is ultimately let down by a weak ending with quite possibly the poorest reason for somebody to slaughter their family and friends I have ever heard.


In a CR@B Shell: Something of a return to form for the post-modern slasher series after 2000's less-than-loved trilogy closer, but I'm not quite sure how much more mileage there is in this self-aware, reference-heavy concept – yet there's talk of Scre4m kick-starting a whole new trilogy. Some sagas just don't know when to stop!
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Fear ye the Rip-off

DVD Review: MY SOUL TO TAKE
18 – 107mins – 2010
Written by: Wes Craven
Directed by: Wes Craven
Starring: Max Thieriot, John Magaro, Emily Meade, Nick Lashaway, Zena Grey, Paulina Olszynski, Denzel Whitaker, Raul Esparza, Jessica Hecht, Jeremy Chu
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[SPOILERS] My eagerness for satirical slasher sequel Scre4m (which I do intend to see before it leaves cinemas) was sliced down a notch after watching “master of horror” Wes Craven’s limp preceding offering. My Soul to Take is an ineffective mess of schizophrenic murderers, spiritualist hokum, loose plot-threads, weak scares, laughable chills and fruitless characters. Basically, it’s utter drivel which just screams direct-to-video B-movie. So the studio released it in box office-inflating 3D and witnessed it deservedly bomb.

Craven's first writing and directing gig since New Nightmare in 1994, My Soul to Take’s failure is even more disappointing because the premise is actually fairly novel. The film’s downfall is in its dire execution. 16 years to the day after the community of Riverton suffered terrible losses at the knife-wielding hand of the “Riverton Ripper” (Raul Esparaza), the seven children born on the night he was shot are being picked off in grizzly murders. Did the Ripper cheat death to wreck his revenge, biding his time and building his strength over the intervening years, or are supernatural forces at work?

The answer, dear readers, is the latter, despite the wounded psychopath being seen running away from the ambulance which was transporting him and his victims to the hospital, thereby keeping open the possibility of his survival. But this is just one of the many red herrings Craven throws at us, which, when you consider the film as a whole, are actually rather large plot holes. The Riverton Ripper’s soul has, in fact, been transported into one of the seven newborns who came into this world the night he left it. That’s right; the killer was that darn evil that even death couldn’t stop him. Sound familiar?

Introverted teen Adam “Bug” Hellerman (Max Thieriot), with his lack of medical records, schizophrenic impressions and morbid ability to see the recently deceased in the mirror (!), is instantly marked as suspect numero uno. Except it obviously isn’t him, because Craven tries so frickin’ hard to indebt him with all these “guilty” attributes (watch out for the family reveal halfway through) that you’re constantly anticipating a twist. And, predictably, we get one – so then what the hell was all that “dead reflections leave knifes for me in the sink” nonsense all about?!

My Soul to Take features countless genre elements which would work reasonably well on their own, but as mere fragments of this scatterbrained plot they serve no conclusive purpose other than to irritate. For instance, one of the seven teens is a Jesus freak (Zena Grey) and another is blind (Denzel Whitaker) – but their distinctive characteristics lend no purpose to the narrative! It’s as if Craven had a load of “this would be cool!” ideas, but in his excitement failed to cohesively tie them all together. And this is a veteran of modern horror cinema!


In a CR@B Shell: Over thought, over wrought claptrap from a (former) master of the genre who, most criminally of all, fails to see how preposterous his creation is and plays the entire farce entirely straight. Won’t stop you laughing out loud though.
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Mr Sandman Dream Me a Death

DVD Review: A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET
18 – 92mins – 2010
Written by: Wesley Strick and Eric Heisserer
Based on characters created by: Wes Craven
Directed by: Samuel Bayer
Starring: Jackie Earle Haley, Rooney Mara, Kyle Gallner, Katie Cassidy, Thomas Dekker, Kellan Lutz, Clancy Brown, Connie Britton
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Having posted THIS cathartic rage-dump review of his feelings towards the 21st century reimagining of the 80's most iconic dream-stalking child molester (competition was fierce in that category, let me tell you), Mr. Downie of Thom's House of Words is going to be mighty aggrieved to read that I didn't find this Michael Bay-produced offering to be wholly disagreeable. But then it has been so long since I watched Wes Craven's 1984 original horror hit that I can scarcely remember the details vividly enough to draw an accurate comparison.

I am reliably informed that the story is by-and-large identical: a group of high school kids are terrorised in their dreams by a fedora-wearing maniac with a deformed face and razor-sharp hand wear, who has the ability to not only kill them in their sub-conscious, but kill them for real. Where 2010's A Nightmare on Elm Street breaks away from the source material is in its elaboration upon Freddy Kreuger's (Jackie Earle Haley) origin story. Remake scribes Wesley Strick and Eric Heisserer's have bulked-up his base biography and visualised flashbacks to the monster's days as a pre-school caretaker with an immoral secret.

It's dark and disturbing stuff which doesn't sit particularly well alongside the more fantastical boogieman slasher flick elements, but the attempt to further demonise the striped jumper-wearing foe (who became something of a camp quipper by the tail end of the sequels) is totally justified. I will admit to being impressed by the slick link made to folk tale The Pied Piper of Hamelin, where the multi-coloured instrumentalist kidnapped the children of the German town as vengeance for being cheated by their parents. Here, Kreuger was hunted down and burned alive for his sickening indecency by the children's rightfully outraged 'rents.

“One, two, Freddy's coming for you...”

As the line between reverie and reality becomes blurred for determined but sleep-deprived classmates Nancy (Rooney The Social Network Mara) and Quentin (Kyle Gallner), there's no telling when Freddy will materialise, leaving them (and us) constantly on edge, a point further enhanced by the vulnerable hopelessness of being completely at his mercy in his world. How do you kill a man who is already dead? How do you stay awake long enough to formulate a plan?

Whether Elm Street needed revisiting is something of a moot point: all the most lucrative franchises are milked to death in this current cinematic climate. Whether this new Nightmare is simply a case of dressing up an already decent enough cult classic in glossy modern day clothing, I'm sadly not disposed to comment. I will, nevertheless, close by saying that I wasn't completely won-over by Jackie Earle Haley. For all the impressive prosthetics, CGI-aided wounds, and even wearing the iconic costume, he still isn't Freddy Kreuger. Robert Englund made the role his own and Haley – for all his unquestionable ability – can only be a pretender to the fedora.


In a CR@B Shell: When viewed independently of the original, A Nightmare on Elm Street 2010 is a decently sleek and creepy slasher movie with a wickedly spirited premise. Of course it isn't remotely original, but I've seen far worse, far lazier and far more futile efforts in this remake-infatuated era.
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