Mirth of the Living Dead

DVD Review: UNDEAD
15 – 100mins – 2003
Written by: Michael and Peter Spierig
Directed by: Michael and Peter Spierig
Starring: Felicity Mason, Mungo McKay, Rob Jenkins, Lisa Cunningham, Dirk Hunter, Emma Randall, Noel Sheridan, Gaynor Wensley, Eleanor Stillman, Robyn Moore
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Meteor showers, acid rain, a zombie uprising, killer fish, ghostly apparitions and alien abductions – you certainly can’t accuse the Spierig brother’s first feature of being uneventful. But anyone – myself included – watching this wild Australian horror in the wake of their 2009 breakthrough hit Daybreakers should not be expecting a tonally analogous ride. Pity, then, that Anchor Bay recently repackaged the film with a misleadingly dour cover...

Whereas the twin auteur’s future-set vampire apocalypse was a furiously severe and sombre horror, 2003’s Undead is a madcap tongue-in-cheek affair which packs as many laughs as gloriously embellished deaths into its 100 zany minutes. Strictly speaking it’s not a parody, although Michael and Peter do little to disguise their “splatstick” influences: this is essentially The Evil Dead (1981) mating with Bad Taste (1987) in George A. Romero’s cellar.

You can therefore be certain that you won’t be able to keep a straight face as the townsfolk of fishing community Berkeley start developing a taste for brain matter and a spiky extraterrestrial barricade quarantines the human survivors alongside their undead neighbours. Mungo McKay camps it up as the eccentric outsider Marion who is never short of a gun or twelve, leading the shabby mortal resistance against the torrents of supernatural activity.

Just when you think Undead can’t possibly get any wackier, the Spierig brothers throw in another comic book nemesis for our wearied protagonists to battle, bludgeon and behead. It’s all farcically over the top and riotous fun, but the busy plot does begin to feel rather scattershot in its approach, as if a multitude of genre elements are being shoehorned in just for the sake of it.

Nevertheless, anyone who fancies a chortle at a pair of bodiless legs stumbling aimlessly in search of a torso is in for a treat: Undead is unquestionably a tour de force of carnage and comedy. Lamentably, as the credits rolled I was left with a prevailing sense of frustration, trying desperately to work out how the haphazard plot strands pulled together to reach such a crazy conclusion. Perhaps I was paying too much attention…?


In a CR@B Shell: More farcical than frightening, Undead is a hyperbolic homage to old school horror comedy which is best watched in a braindead, booze-addled state.
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Fusty Fanged Federation

Book Review: UPRISING
Written by: Scott G. Mariani
Published in the UK by: AVON
Released: 10th June 2010
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Best known for his high-octane series of Dan Brown-alike mystery thrillers starring intrepid ex-SAS protagonist Ben Hope, Scott G. Mariani's latest prose project – the first in a proposed new saga – is something of a departure for the acclaimed British author. Welcome to modern day London with a supernatural, err, bite... welcome to the world of the Vampire Federation.

Established by the undead hordes to keep their blood-feasting urges from being detected by the technologically savvy human population of the 21st century, the codes of the Vampire Federation are, alas, not adhered to by all neck biters. A rogue sect of traditionalists (or “trads”) lead by ferocious rebel vamp Gabriel Stone are out to bring down the dictatorial Federation, destroy its force of special agents and allow free reign for the fanged creatures of the night.

It was Scott G. Mariani's desire to give the hallmarks of classic vampire mythology – namely those set out in the seminal masterpiece Dracula, which the author openly acknowledges as far more than a passing inspiration – a fresh and modern spin. Hence his action packed world of interspecies civil war is stocked with many an advanced gimmick and gizmo (although cynics may say "story-servicing cheats") which Bram Stoker could scarcely have envisaged: from an arsenal of vamp-dusting weapons, to pills which allow the night-walkers to get a suntan, and injections which wipe the recent memory of any neck-punctured mortal.

Of course, this is one mighty popular sub-genre of horror, and many recent films, series and novels have beaten Uprising to the punch. Blade, Nightwatch, Twilight, the True Blood/Sookie Stackhouse chronicles, 30 Days of Night and Daybreakers are but a few mainstream examples of modern twists to the age-old antagonists. For all Mariani's best intentions, this leaves Uprising with a terribly trite and stale stench. From the shadow strewn back-alley attacks, to the cloak-clad “baddies” with their secret dungeon graveyards and ghoulish minions masquerading as butlers: we've seen it all before.

Uprising's second half improves slightly over the unremarkable and clichéd first 250-odd pages, as venegance-powered human hero DI Joel Solomon finally teams up with Federation agent Alex Bishop and the odd couple head to Venice to track down legendary artefact – and ultimate vampire repellent – the cross of Ardaich (yep, that's another "story-servicing cheat").

With a clear goal, the novel picks up pace and feels more cohesive and focused than the globe-jumping mess of the first half where every bite-sized chapter - prefixed with a different locational brief - introduces yet another two dimensional character; from page to page you don't know where you will be, or who with. Were the chapters not so short (3-5 pages is the average, with many a blank page speeding up the journey) and the writing not so sprightly and easy to digest, I would have given up on Uprising long before the story began to grip me.

Mariani's prose has a strongly cinematic feel. This author clearly prefers writing action to detail, so although the story flies by, you never feel truly immersed. It is as if Uprising was written with one eye on a multi-million dollar Hollywood adaptation and Mariani went all-out to deliver what would look the most mind-blowingly epic on the big screen: there's a Thames speedboat chase, a fight clambering on the London Eye, a high speed car crash and a Dracula-riffing Romanian castle climax. Frankly, it all comes across as a little over indulgent.

The same is true of the over abundance of “fucks,” “shits,” needlessly graphic deaths and out of place sex scenes: I came away with the opinion that Mariani was out to drive home the point that his vampire novel is hip, extreme, current and for adults only. Unfortunately, this all just comes across as a contrived and immature attempt to assert that Uprising definitely isn't Twilight, which was already obvious from the first hint of fang.


In a CR@B Shell: A leisurely read, but Scott G. Mariani's supernatural horror debut brings nothing new to an overcrowded genre. For all its desperate attempts at “modern,” “edgy” and “extreme”, Uprising is a predictable and tired novel which is more hackneyed than homage.
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Blood Money for Drained Resources

Blu-Review: DAYBREAKERS – UNSEEN EDITION

18 – 98mins – 2010
Written and directed by: Michael and Peter Spierig
Starring: Ethan Hawke, Willem Defoe, Sam Neill, Claudia Karvan, Michael Dorman, Isabel Lucas, Christopher Caruso
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Just when you thought the vampire sub-genre had been sucked dry from over a century of diverse fictional incarnations and dubious neutered interpretations (I’m looking at you, fangless and glittering preeners of the Twilight saga), along comes a fresh and ferocious take on the UV-phobic neck biters to inject the undead spawn of Bram Stoker’s mythical archetype with a transfusion of cool. And make no mistake: the Spierig brother’s future-set sci-fi/horror hybrid is bloody cool.

Set in a monochromatic 2019 where the last remaining scraps of humanity are being hunted down and farmed for their plasmic juices in a multi-national pharmaceutical laboratory run by the new and untanned master race, Daybreakers pits heartbeat-sympathiser haematologist – he who searches for a synthetic blood substitute – Edward Dalton (Ethan Hawke) against his own claret-starved kind when a pocket of human survivors led by Audrey Bennett (Claudia Karvan) and formerly-fanged Lionel “Elvis” Cormac (Willem Defoe) prove to the doc that there is a cure to reverse the vampiric plague and save the mortal race…

What impressed me most about this dark, stylistic future shocker was the Spierig brother's creativity with the subject matter and their striking attention to detail. Writer and director team Michael and Peter really immerse you in their apocalyptic world which comes alive with the undead when the sun goes down. Car windows are blacked out and fitted with roof-fitted cameras to allow for daytime driving; labyrinthine underground walkways provide a safe way to get about town without getting sunburn; brigades of gun-totting human-hunting soldiers are deployed to find food, without which the blood-gluggers slowly degenerate into hideous bat-like Subsiders (gloriously reminiscent of the creature Gary Oldman transformed into in 1992’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula). As I said before: bloody cool.

However, the cure (to death?) discovered accidentally by “Elvis” should be taken with a water tower's worth of salt. It’s incredulous bunkum, even in a genre flick peopled by pulseless immortals, but it is adequately sufficient as a plot device to progress the relentless action as malevolent corporation president Charles Bromley (a wonderfully snide Sam Neill) sets about quashing Edward’s resistance, hiding any hint of a cure and mass marketing the synthetic blood substitute for major profit. Cue a dramatic blood-bath finale which is only dampened by a slightly hasty feel to the epilogue.

It is hard for me to believe that a film with such a wickedly inventive premise took nearly 6 years to reach our screens, from Lionsgate acquiring the rights to the script way back in November 2004. But then this is a modestly budgeted Australian production – the State Government even contributed to the $21million raised – with the Spierig brothers having only one previous feature to their name (2003’s little known Undead). That being said, after watching their sophomore effort, I am very excited to see what the brave and imaginative duo create next. Daybreakers is a slick, spirited, sharply-scripted supernatural shocker which delivers on action, chills and gore (hence the 18 rating on this “Unseen Edition” home release) with a sly allegory on man’s profligate attitude to natural resources slipped in for good measure.

CR@B Verdict: Overlook the logic-vacuum of the “cure” & you’ll be treated to an hour and a half of blood-pumping action, spine-tingling horror and car-chase thrills. An atmospheric near-future creature feature with balls, bats and Sam Neill – what more could you ask for?!
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