Hell's Playground

Blu Review: NIGHT OF THE DEMONS
18 – 92mins – 2010
Screenplay by: Jane Anderson and Adam Gierasch
Based on the 1988 film written by: Joe Augustyn
Directed by: Adam Gierasch
Starring: Shannon Elizabeth, Monica Keena, Edward Furlong, John F. Beach, Michael Copon, Diora Baird, Bobbi Sue Luther, Irina Beskaravaynaya, Jamie Harris
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It wasn't until looking up the cast and crew info on IMDb that I realised that this all-guts-no-glory splatter flick is actually a remake of a late eighties frightener of the same name. I'd never heard of it (or its two low-end follow-ups), but it was obviously memorable enough for someone to want to film it anew. Clearly this recent rock n' roll reimagining didn't have quite the same impact, as despite a tentative theatrical run in the third quarter of 2009, it was shelved for a year and released straight to DVD in time for the following Halloween.

It's an obvious time to market any horror flick, but Night of the Demons does at least actually take place on All Hallows Eve. After a stylised sepia-toned silent movie-riffing prologue set on October 31st 1925 sees a party piece séance bring forth a horde of possessive satanic nasties, the film fast forwards to the same house in the present day; abandoned since the supernatural tragedy, until feisty Angela (American Pie's Elizabeth) rents out the sinister property to host a rawkin' Halloween party for all the fittest girls and hunkiest boys on the block.

Lady of the Flies

Blu Review: PHENOMENA
18 – 110mins – 1985
Written by: Dario Argento and Franco Ferrini
Directed by: Dario Argento
Starring: Jennifer Connelly, Donald Pleasence, Patrick Bauchau, Dario Nicolodi, Dalila Di Lazzaro, Fiore Argento, Federica Mastroianni, Franco Trevisi
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Other than his contribution to the Edgar Allen Poe double hitter Two Evil Eyes (which I really must re-watch to review at some stage), Phenomena is my first undiluted taste of Italian horror director Dario Argento’s cult cannon of surreal hyper-gory Giallo nightmares. Released in the US in 1986 with the title Creepers and with over 30mins of footage edited out (seriously, it must have made no sense whatsoever), cult enthusiasts Arrow Video have digitally restored the extended 110minute version for this recent Blu-ray edition.

The synopsis is a bit of a rollercoaster, so bear with me: Two years prior to her breakthrough in puppet fantasy Labyrinth, a teenage Jennifer Connelly plays Jennifer Corvino, the daughter of a famous movie star who is transferred to a Swiss girl’s boarding school while her father is on location. An insect-lover with a habit of sleepwalking, Jennifer is ostracised by the bullying boarders but befriended by a paralysed entomologist, Dr. John McGregor (Pleasence), whose lab assistant is a trained chimpanzee.*

The Scot doc believes Jennifer’s extrasensory affinity with creepy crawlers could come in useful in helping track down a diabolical serial killer loose in the area, and teams up “the two greatest detectives the world has ever known – or should I say: unknown”: Jennifer and a Great Sarcophagus fly (yes – a fly; specifically one which is drawn to corpses). Meanwhile, having run away from school after being diagnosed as mentally ill, Jennifer is offered refuge at the home of school mistress Frau Brücker (Nicolodi) while she waits for her plane to fly her back to her father in LA.

Visually, the film looks great. Top marks to Arrow for a great remaster, even if the English audio does occasionally slip back into the Italian track for snatches of (presumedly lost) dialogue. The synth-powered Goblin score is also fantastically atmospheric without being generic, although the injections of 80s Metal sounds totally out of place. Much like Fulci’s The House by the Cemetery (reviewed HERE), when gore is required, Argento doesn’t hold back, but – perhaps given the protracted runtime – there are lengthy periods of inactivity where you wonder whether this is actually a horror at all.

The identity of the serial killer is very well masked, and the climatic reveal is a genuine surprise, but what lets Phenomena down is its inexplicably ropey characterisation. A pair of macho boy racers knock a sleepwalking Jennifer down in their speeding car – and their response is to kidnap her until she fights her way out of the moving vehicle!! Jennifer’s roommate Sophie (Mastroianni) falls victim to the deranged killer, yet neither students nor staff appear overly upset that one of their friends has been slaughtered; they’re more interested in bugging Jennifer over her affinity with insects than staying alive!!

Heroine Jennifer is the most comprehensively fleshed out character, but even she isn’t immune from perplexing character choices. In an early scene she recounts sleepwalking to the scene of one of the murders – yet refuses to tell anyone but Dr. McGregor of what she has witnessed in case the haughty headmistress (Di Lazzaro) dismisses her as delusional! Surely the police should be notified of such a development…? But then it isn’t like this tough-as-nails fourteen-year-old seems even remotely distressed by witnessing somebody get a metal spike through the face.

Jennifer’s paranormal powers also feel underused, despite being the film’s main selling point. Her sleepwalking visions of long clinical corridors are never explained and quickly forgotten, while only twice does she summon a swarm of pests and once receive guidance from a firefly. Furthermore, her teaming up with a diminutive “detective partner” is brought to a swift end when she is scared away from the investigation by an Estate Agent (Trevisi), and the eventual discovery of the murderer is brought to her, rather than through any telekinetic skill of her own.


In a CR@B Shell: I hate to be a buzz kill, but Dario Argento’s outlandish creepy-crawler clairvoyant concept had such potential to be an uncanny delight, yet Phenomena is an overlong and uneven oddity which lacks the crucial sting in the tale which would have made this underdeveloped larvae fly.
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*So that’s where George A. Romero got the inspiration for Monkey Shines (reviewed HERE) from!!

The Agony and the Ecstacy

Blu Review: MARTYRS
18 – 97mins – 2008
Written by: Pascal Laugier
Directed by: Pascal Laugier
Starring: Morjana Alaoui, Mylène Jampanï, Catherine Bégin
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Bloody, brutal, savage, extreme, visceral, sadistic – all of these terms (and many more synonyms besides) could be thrown into a review of French horror Martyrs, and yet none of them could ever *quite* manage to best express just how fucked up this film is. It’s the kind of film you have to see, but you won’t want to. It’s powerful viewing, but it’s also unpleasantly hard viewing, and I can’t imagine anyone going back for seconds. Not because it isn’t any good (far from it), but because it’ll forever be engrained on the viewer’s subconscious.

Having escaped from an abandoned abattoir following a lengthy period of imprisonment, abuse and torture at just ten years old, traumatised Lucie (Jampanï) is still plagued by nightmarish visions of a truly terrifying primordial goblin-esque figure. 15 years later, and with the support and assistance of her only friend, fellow care home resident Anna (Alaoui), Lucie has tracked down the sick perpetrators responsible, and she’s intent on making them pay…

If my synopsis makes Martyrs sound a little familiar, a little generic, akin to I Spit on your Grave and its ilk of rape/revenge thrillers, then think again: the above is wrapped up within the first 45 minutes, and the film's second half plunges to new depths of depravity whilst transcending the binds of its oft-maligned genre and ascending to new heights of unprecedented originality, as Anna stumbles upon the dark-as-night secret behind Lucie’s juvenile imprisonment, and finds herself in a similarly unspeakable scenario.

I won’t ruin it for you, as stripping away the meat from Martyrs’ bones will greatly reduce the potency of its appalling revelations. Nevertheless, a warning: I’ve watched a flood of limb-slicing, gore-splattered, frankly deplorable horror films in my time, and I’m not being hyperbolic when I rank Pascal Laugier’s film as one of the most shockingly severe my eyes have witnessed. But unlike shallow schlockers like City of the Living Dead, in this case I mean it as an immense compliment.


In a CR@B Shell: Prepare to be in equal parts astounded and revolted by this extraordinary Euro example of extreme transgressive cinema. Martyrs achieves exactly what it sets out to, and for that must be commended, but it is not an enjoyable viewing experience. Not for the weak of heart (or stomach).
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Blu-ray Nasty

Blu Review: THE EVIL DEAD
18 – 87mins – 1981
Written by: Sami Raimi
Directed by: Sam Raimi
Starring: Bruce Campbell, Ellen Sandweiss, Betsy Baker, Hal Delrich, Theresa Tilly
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I have been on something of a horror movie binge of late. Given the time of year, it is somewhat apt that I should be viewing as many schlocky scare-fests as possible. But as easy as it would seem to splash around the claret and the prosthetic limbs and proclaim “THIS IS THE SCARIEST FILM OF ALL TIME!!!”, many modern genre flicks just come across as humorous rather than horrific. Sometimes, dear Hollywood, less is more.

One classic example where this adage is definitely not the case, however, is Sam Raimi’s seminal video nasty The Evil Dead. Approaching 30 years old, the restored and remastered recent Blu-ray release (out just in time for October 31st – coincidence much?!) gave me a perfect excuse to finally check out this iconic landmark in extreme X-rated entertainment.

And please indulge me with this outpouring prior to the review proper, but ohmygoodgod what a furious, fun and freaky thrill ride this monster of a movie is! Why did it take me 26 years to finally watch this? How had I not sought this out sooner? How quickly can I get hold of Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness?!

Admittedly the film’s plot, by today’s jaded standards, sounds rather corny and contrived: a group of college students head to a mountain retreat for a weekend of sex, drugs and rollicking laughter, only to inadvertently unleash hell on earth when they discover the flesh-lined Book of the Dead and listen to the recorded research tapes they find in the isolated cabin’s cellar; freeing a horde of supernatural beasts by replaying the demonic incantations therein.
It really is the simplest of set-ups, but from the moment cynical sketcher Cheryl (Sandweiss) is lured into the forest and brutally raped by the trees (yep, you read that correctly), you know you’re in for an insanely intense and shamelessly excessive hour and a half. The five students – bar Bruce Campbell’s cult-hero everyman Ash – are one-by-one possessed by the so-called Kandarian demons and go on psychotic rampages in an attempt to spook then infest their mortal pals.

Just when you think you’ve seen enough maniacal madcappery to last you a month of Halloween’s, Sam Raimi takes things a step (or stone staircase) further – from obliterated bodies still quivering on the floor to eye gouging, beheading, fire poker impaling and hands being chewed from their arms – but all with a wickedly black sense of humour. I found myself roaring with laughter just as often as I was wincing at the frenzied imagery.

The otherworldly make-up is as outrageously cheesy and unsubtle as the action, with the possessed “deadites” looking like face-painted kids after a birthday party food fight, and a stop-motion climax does expose the film’s age in these overtly smooth high definition times, but the attention to detail and Raimi’s budget-restricted dedication to throw everything and the cellar’s film projector at the audience is simply inspirational and must be marvelled at to be believed.

The Evil Dead is certainly not for the easily scared, queasy or offended (I did mention the tree rape, right…?), but against your better judgement you’ll find yourself utterly engrossed in the vile chaos, if only to find out how far they’ll take things next. As Raimi’s first feature film, this is an amazingly proficient accomplishment with the auteur maintaining a persist level of tension and showing off a slew of effective directorial techniques (particularly the P.O.V. presence of the roaming spirits). And to think, the best is yet to come (and no, I don’t mean Spiderman 3…).


In a CR@B Shell: Sure, some of the effects have dated, but even in 2010 The Evil Dead still can’t be beaten as a rip-roaring, gross-out hullabalooza. Relentless frights and frivolity juxtapose wildly in this absurd controversy-touter which really must be seen to be believed.
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Creed Corrupts

Blu Review: THE DISAPPEARANCE OF ALICE CREED
18 – 100mins – 2009
Written by: J. Blakeson
Directed by: J. Blakeson
Starring: Gemma Arterton, Eddie Marsan, Martin Compston
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From oily Bond Girl to country slapper, via guardian Goddess and Persian Princess, it's been quite a breakthrough couple of years for Kent-born actress Gemma Arterton, so it was intriguing to see the A-lister who would be Tamara Drewe in a gritty and low key indie thriller – especially one which demanded her to be gagged and tied up for ninety percent of the shoot.

Arterton certainly has a rough ole' time of it as the eponymous victim Alice, bundled into the back of a van and locked away in a makeshift bedroom-come-prison by partners in crime Danny (Martin Compston) and the older and more proficient Vic (Eddie Sherlock Holmes Marsan). No other characters are introduced for the remainder of the film, as the nervy youngster Danny follows meticulous plotter Vic's lead in making calls to demand a ransom and checking up on their distressed captive.

Although the violence isn't tenaciously intense it is at times downright harrowing (particularly when Arterton is cut out of her clothes or made to urinate in a jug, shackled to the bed throughout), with all three players delivering steely performances which you truly believe in.

Sparse and contained though the action may be, The Disappearance of Alice Creed is deceptive in its scope, with the plot constantly evolving as backstory reveals throw up left field twists which cast the characters and their bleak situation into remarkable new light.

That first time auteur J. Blakeson adeptly manages such convolutions without the script feeling forcibly constructed or expositionary is miraculous. For instance, we learn that Danny has been in prison, but we are not sure for what crimes; we are told that Alice hates her multi-millionaire father, but we never discover what aggravated her resentment; while cold-blooded kidnap expert Vic largely remains a mystery until desperation sets in.

Fundamentally, the details are insignificant to the scenario and would only dilute the potency of the mystery (even the location of the flat holding cell is never revealed): characterisation is key here, and Blakeson's effectively drawn out exploration of his limited cast's complex relationships leads to a properly nailbiting spider's web of a thriller.


In a CR@B Shell: Low in key but high in trepidation, writer/director J. Blakeson's debut feature is an impressively executed three way powerplay which intrigues as persistently as it disturbs.
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Blood Money for Drained Resources

Blu-Review: DAYBREAKERS – UNSEEN EDITION

18 – 98mins – 2010
Written and directed by: Michael and Peter Spierig
Starring: Ethan Hawke, Willem Defoe, Sam Neill, Claudia Karvan, Michael Dorman, Isabel Lucas, Christopher Caruso
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Just when you thought the vampire sub-genre had been sucked dry from over a century of diverse fictional incarnations and dubious neutered interpretations (I’m looking at you, fangless and glittering preeners of the Twilight saga), along comes a fresh and ferocious take on the UV-phobic neck biters to inject the undead spawn of Bram Stoker’s mythical archetype with a transfusion of cool. And make no mistake: the Spierig brother’s future-set sci-fi/horror hybrid is bloody cool.

Set in a monochromatic 2019 where the last remaining scraps of humanity are being hunted down and farmed for their plasmic juices in a multi-national pharmaceutical laboratory run by the new and untanned master race, Daybreakers pits heartbeat-sympathiser haematologist – he who searches for a synthetic blood substitute – Edward Dalton (Ethan Hawke) against his own claret-starved kind when a pocket of human survivors led by Audrey Bennett (Claudia Karvan) and formerly-fanged Lionel “Elvis” Cormac (Willem Defoe) prove to the doc that there is a cure to reverse the vampiric plague and save the mortal race…

What impressed me most about this dark, stylistic future shocker was the Spierig brother's creativity with the subject matter and their striking attention to detail. Writer and director team Michael and Peter really immerse you in their apocalyptic world which comes alive with the undead when the sun goes down. Car windows are blacked out and fitted with roof-fitted cameras to allow for daytime driving; labyrinthine underground walkways provide a safe way to get about town without getting sunburn; brigades of gun-totting human-hunting soldiers are deployed to find food, without which the blood-gluggers slowly degenerate into hideous bat-like Subsiders (gloriously reminiscent of the creature Gary Oldman transformed into in 1992’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula). As I said before: bloody cool.

However, the cure (to death?) discovered accidentally by “Elvis” should be taken with a water tower's worth of salt. It’s incredulous bunkum, even in a genre flick peopled by pulseless immortals, but it is adequately sufficient as a plot device to progress the relentless action as malevolent corporation president Charles Bromley (a wonderfully snide Sam Neill) sets about quashing Edward’s resistance, hiding any hint of a cure and mass marketing the synthetic blood substitute for major profit. Cue a dramatic blood-bath finale which is only dampened by a slightly hasty feel to the epilogue.

It is hard for me to believe that a film with such a wickedly inventive premise took nearly 6 years to reach our screens, from Lionsgate acquiring the rights to the script way back in November 2004. But then this is a modestly budgeted Australian production – the State Government even contributed to the $21million raised – with the Spierig brothers having only one previous feature to their name (2003’s little known Undead). That being said, after watching their sophomore effort, I am very excited to see what the brave and imaginative duo create next. Daybreakers is a slick, spirited, sharply-scripted supernatural shocker which delivers on action, chills and gore (hence the 18 rating on this “Unseen Edition” home release) with a sly allegory on man’s profligate attitude to natural resources slipped in for good measure.

CR@B Verdict: Overlook the logic-vacuum of the “cure” & you’ll be treated to an hour and a half of blood-pumping action, spine-tingling horror and car-chase thrills. An atmospheric near-future creature feature with balls, bats and Sam Neill – what more could you ask for?!
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Cause And Special Effects

Blu Review: THE BOX
12 – 115mins – 2009
Written for the screen by: Richard Kelly
Adapted from the short story “Button, Button” by: Richard Mattheson
Directed by: Richard Kelly
Starring: Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, Frank Langella, Sam Oz Stone, James Rebhorn, Holmes Osbourne, Gillian Jacobs
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Richard Kelly has had mixed success with his film career so far. After scoring gold with his head-scratcher of a time-twisting, thought-provoking debut, Donnie Darko (2001), he took aaaaages to bring us the disastrous, bloated mess that was Southland Tales (2006). Even with personal favourite Sarah Michelle Gellar playing a porn star (!) I still detested the film to such a degree that I nearly gave up on film watching altogether. Nearly.

So now we come to his latest attempt to confound, mystify and enlighten audiences: The Box, based on a short story from I Am Legend scribe Richard Mattheson. Dubiously, I decided to give it a go… Set in 1976, high school teacher Norma Lewis (Cameron Diaz) and her NASA optics engineer husband Arthur (James Marsden) are chosen by the mysterious lightening-disfigured Arlington Steward (Frank Langella) to take a morally questionable test based around the titular MacGuffin: you have 24 hours to decide whether to push the button, or not. If you do, you will receive $1million dollars (woo). However, somebody you don’t know will die (boo).

What would YOU do?


For the first hour of its 115minute running time, The Box was a taught, tense and credibly atmospheric drama probing human morals, greed, suspicion and paranoia – with a genuinely creepy edge. It’s hardly a spoiler for me to tell you that Norma does push the button, a decision both she and Arthur instantly regret. Indeed, their “winnings” are locking in the basement and barely given another thought. Arlington (see pic, above) accrues the mystery by refusing to answer questions about his shady and immoral test, but knowing far more than a human ever could – and he seems to have mumbling, bleary-eyed “employees” everywhere...

The film takes itself very seriously, and the cast play everything inflexibly straight, even as we pass the hour mark and things take a bizarre supernatural turn which threatens to derail the impressive first half. It brought to mind the genre-swapping shift midway through From Dusk Til Dawn (1996), only far, far less successful. Creepy gives way to kooky, especially when a visit to the library offers up a further test for Arthur in the form of three Stargate-esque portals, one of which offers him salvation yet leaves him floating above Norma in their bedroom, cocooned in a cube of dubiously CGI-ed water(!!).

Somehow, someway, following ethereal revelations, shootings and a kidnapping, the film eventually comes full circle, ending with god-wannabe Arlington making Arthur choose between his wife’s life and his son, Walter‘s (Sam Oz Stone), health, before the Two Face-channelling obscurity heads down the street to give another couple The Box…

Maybe the book made more sense?!


CR@B Verdict: Neither a Darko-dimensioned delight, nor a Southland-shaped shambles, The Box starts out as a tense psychological chiller before showing its true (shark-jumping) sci-fi hue. A curious and peculiar piece which may benefit from a repeat viewing – or locking away in the basement… What would YOU do?
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