Rooming with the Enemy

Blu Review: THE ROOMMATE
15 – 91mins – 2011
Written by: Sonny Mallhi
Directed by: Christian E. Christiansen
Starring: Leighton Meester, Minka Kelly, Cam Gigandet, Alyson Michalka, Danneel Ackles, Katerina Graham, Matt Lanter, Frances Fisher, Billy Zane
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Quite possibly the most devastating "advertisement" for sufferers of schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder ever, this teen-flavoured psychological drama plays out like an unofficial remake of Single White Female – and about a gazillion other similarly themed obsession-turns-sinister thrillers from the last two decades.

Moving away from home for the first time and starting a new independent life at University is a daunting enough time as it is – but in some dormitories you have to room share, which means living within the same four walls as a complete stranger. That option would always receive a resounding “hellz no!” from me, but The Roommate explores the potential danger that if you did find yourself cozying up with a fellow student, you *could* be living with a unhinged psychopath.

Woof Justice

Book Review: THE SEARCH
Written by: Nora Roberts
Published by: Piatkus, 2010
521pages
www.nora-roberts.co.uk
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[SPOILERS] I envy Nora Roberts. That may seem like a peculiar claim – she's over twice my age, of the opposite sex (obviously) and lives half the world away – but let me explain: Whilst some of us creative writers hope and dream that one day we will be able to call ourselves published authors, this prolific American romance/thriller novelist has just chalked up success story #209 (yes, that’s two hundred and nine published novels to date!!) – and she only started writing because she was bored and housebound with her two children in a blizzard! Where does the unstoppable 61 year old keep finding the inspiration?!

Published in hardback last summer and now seeing a UK paperback release, The Search is a chunky 500+ page read. The effusive and intricate knowledge of dog training and Search and Rescue units which weigh down this story of murder, survival, sex and romance give the impression that it’s a heavily researched work which demanded the author’s complete attention for a considerable period of time. While undoubtedly it did, at least for a spell, it’s astonishing to learn that it was one of five novels Roberts published in 2010 alone.

Break In, Break Out & Break Apart

Now that I'm back with LoveFilm (oh how I've missed you, promise me we'll never be apart again, etcetera), the rate with which I receive and watch films has increased - and therefore so has my review load. So here are three concise critiques which see Russell Crowe break into a prison, eyeless reanimated beasts break out of the earth and the ghost of a deformed madman breaking people apart. Now there's diversity for you...

DVD Review: HATCHET
18 – 82mins – 2006

A host of retro splatter film icons (Tony Candyman, Final Destination Todd, Robert “Freddy Kreuger” Englund, Kane “Leatherface”, “Jason Voorhees” Hodder, Friday the 13th Part VII director John Carl Buechler) and some sensationally cruel death sequences (people pulled apart, a girl taking a sander to the face, a woman split in two from the jaw down) do wonders to cover up a simple one-dimensional plot in this gleefully twisted love letter to old-school American horror films from up-and-coming auteur Adam Green.

It’s a glossy production for sure; the image is much cleaner than the grittier and more plausible Frozen (Green’s other major horror release, reviewed HERE), while the camera never shies away from the buckets of gore and twisted prosthetics. The humour is also snappy and tongue-in-cheek (“Can you spot me for this?” “Why, you out of money?” “Nah, I just refuse to pay for this shit!”), while the short runtime means things never outstay their welcome (particular not the all-too-sudden mid-scene cut at the end).

The only downside is that the linear storyline is far too conventional: as the motley crew of tourists, wannabe porn stars (really), camera men and sullen locals board a dodgy haunted swamp tour on the Louisiana Bayou, you can instantly predict who will survive and who will make tasty cannon fodder for the ghost of maniacal and mutilated Victor Crowley (Hodder), whose legend is far more real than any of the unsuspecting saps suspect…

CR@B Verdict: aaaaa

DVD Review: THE NEXT THREE DAYS
12 – 135mins – 2010

Not a film I was in any great hurry to see (hardly the right attitude, I know, but I’ve got to be up front), but having been handed a copy with a strong recommendation I thought I’d give it a chance. As I suspected, I can’t claim to ever being enraptured by it, but it’s an adequate-enough thriller, if a little overlong, implausible and somewhat predictable once you’ve read the synopsis. Hardly a glowing reference, is it?

Paul Casino Royale Haggis adapted and directed Russell Crowe and Elizabeth Banks in this remake of the 2008 French thriller Pour Elle (Anything For Her). Following an altercation at work, Lara (Banks) and John (Crowe) Brennan’s house is intruded by police and Lara is arrested for murder. Over the course of the next three years all appeals fail and John slowly becomes obsessed with the notion that the only way Lara will ever get out to see her son (Insidious' Ty Simpkins) grow up is if she is broken out of prison. So starts his criminally far-fetched plan…

At over 2hours in length, I was surprised at how much of the plot was crammed into the first all-too-brief scene, while John goes from inept novice to fugitive genius all-too-quickly. Much like him, we never for a second suspect that Lara is actually guilty, but that doesn't stop the police from being as incompetent as the “miscarriage of justice” plot demands. The film’s major failing, however, is in its pace, which covers “The Last Three Years” in a snowballing flash before defrosting at a crawl as the plan nears fruition in “The Last Three Days”.

CR@B Verdict: aaaaa

DVD Review: THE PACK (LA MEUTE)
18 – 81mins – 2010

A misty, murky and mysterious little French horror which does a grand job of challenging your genre expectations by changing course thrice during its succinct duration. What begins as an off-kilter road movie – goth traveller Charlotte (Émilie Dequenne) picks up grubby hitchhiker Max (Benjamin Biolay) and they stop at a ramshackle truck stop owned by hick matriarch La Spack (Yolande Moreau) – descends into hillbilly torture porn in a Wrong Turn vein before the eponymous creatures are unleashed to wolf down some revitalizing human plasma in a tense “man versus the monsters” climactic stand-off.

The blind, soil-dwelling zombie miners are a wickedly gruesome bunch (think The Descent’s Crawlers morphed with Romero’s lumbering Living Dead-ites) but they are criminally underused – Franck Richard’s film spends so much time detailing Charlotte’s hunt for the missing Max, her off-hand statement to the retired eccentric local sheriff (Phillippe Nahon; so far removed from your expectation of law enforcement that he may as well be in La Horde) and her eventual capture, that the blood-thirsty mole-men only show up once in the entire first hour.

Finally, a nifty attempt at a curveball epilogue works really well at taking the story full circle (and being startling and just a little bit freaky all at once) until that old chestnut of “it’s just a dream” decimates the impact and makes the diversion feel more like a disjointed deleted scene which has accidentally been edited into the main feature by mistake. It makes for a crushingly disappointing finale to what should have been the most crucial scene in the film.

CR@B Verdict: aaaaa

Hyde and Peep

DVD Review: THE RESIDENT
15 – 87mins – 2011
Written by: Antti J. Jokinen and Robert Orr
Directed by: Antti J. Jokinen
Starring: Hilary Swank, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Christopher Lee, Lee Pace, Aunjanue Ellis
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[SPOILERS] Initially earmarked as the iconic horror studio’s tentpole comeback release after nearly 30 years in production hibernation, Hammer Films’ The Resident fell out of favour and was overshadowed by Matthew Reeves’ Swedish vamp remake Let Me In (reviewed HERE), eventually snuck out on home video format* to scarce fanfare earlier this month – despite a surprisingly healthy A-list cast.

Oscar winner Hilary Swank is game for whatever the script asks of her (and it asks her for a couple of nekkid bath shots) as newly SWF Juliet Devereau, an ER doc who moves into an apartment owned by singleton carpenter Max (Watchmen’s Morgan) and occupied by his frail grandfather August (Lee, in a return to the studio that made him).

As Juliet tries her hardest to make a fresh start and get over her cheating ex (Pace), Max seems like the perfect antidote: charming, funny, attractive (well, behind that scraggily tramp beard at least) – but his amiable façade hides a dangerous obsession which turns Juliet’s dream apartment into a living live-in nightmare…

While copious sly peephole shots create a fittingly claustrophobic atmosphere, Antti J. Jokinen’s voyeuristic thriller sadly falls short of success due to its lack of tension and a stripped down, linear plot. Within 10minutes Juliet is already paranoid of every creak and shuffle, and after just half an hour the timeline is reset to show Max stalking her every move, just out of camera.

A couple of doorway glances and a “welcome to the building” basket aside, suspicious August is never utilized as an efficient red herring to his “weak” grandson’s fetishistic perversions. He hints at knowing about Max’s shady activities (“I know everything that goes on in this building”) and he makes hazy suggestions that a troubled, parentless upbringing has lead to Max’s moral deficiencies, but bed-bound August is dispatched before making a discernable dent on the story.

Morgan and Swank spark superbly in the opening clutch of scenes as nice guy Max charms his guarded tenant and romance blossoms, but Morgan is so successful at pulling off cordial and sociable that when he slips behind the walls and puts on his finger-licking, victim-sedating stalker hat you struggle to believe this vicious psychologically-damaged beast is the same sweet character. Beyond schizophrenic, the transformation verges on Jekyll and Hyde in its demands for implausibly contrary characterisation from the man who was The Comedian.


In a CR@B Shell: A disturbing and moody "landlord from hell" genre flick which disappointingly dispels any suspense far too swiftly with an omniscient eye and a dubiously duplicitous villain who could easily be played by two completely different actors.
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* Wikipedia alleges the film received a limited UK cinema outing in March 2011, but I certainly never came across it.

Death Repeats Itself

Blu Review: THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT 3: REVELATIONS
18 – 90mins – 2009
Written by: Holly Brix
Directed by: Seth Grossman
Starring: Chris Carmack, Rachel Miner, Kevin Yon, Lynch Travis, Melissa Jones, Richard Wilkinson, Sarah Habel, Mia Serafino, Hugh Maguire
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Despite my continued admiration for the underrated 2004 Ashton Kutcher-starring thriller, even I was surprised to find they had produced a third Butterfly Effect film. After all, the first direct-to-video sequel from 2006 was such a limp and limited cut-price retread of the original’s philosophical time-travel plot device that it barely justified filming; the conclusion achingly predictable.

Mercifully, Revelations is a very different butterfly indeed. True, it still incorporates the familiar “Change one thing, change everything” premise into its mind-bending narrative, but an ever-altering murder-mystery element and an injection of sex and graphic brutality (no doubt at the suggestion of horror house After Dark Films*, who came onboard as distributors) help spice up the time-jumping core concept.

Sam Reide (The O.C.’s Carmack) has long learned to control the gift Evan Treborn introduced us to in The Butterfly Effect. Monitored by his psychologically introverted hermit of a sister, Jenna (former Mrs. Macaulay Culkin, Miner), Sam uses his phenomenal ability to aid the police in tracking down murderers and criminals by travelling back to witness the crimes being committed. He must never interfere, or he risks altering the timeline and severely changing life as he knows it.

He is happy to keep to this self-inflicting rule. That is until Elizabeth Brown (Habel), the sister of Sam’s long murdered high school girlfriend (Serafino), walks back into his life and begs him to use his gifts to identify her sister’s real killer and exonerate the innocent man (Wilkinson) who is about to be executed for the decade-old crime.

Against the recommendations of Goldberg (Yon), the man who tutored him in time travel, Sam takes the case and begins his unmonitored jumps into the past. Inevitably, the more he tries to help, the more he perverts the timeline, and his rash actions soon lead to the “creation” of a serial killer who is still on the loose. When Goldberg goes missing and Sam’s livelihood deteriorates, he must do all he can to track down the “Pontiac killer” before he is convicted for the murders himself.

Now obviously the whole leaping-back-into-your-body-from-yesteryear premise is utter wish-fulfilment gubbins, and I suspect Revelations gets tangled in a web of impossible paradoxes as Sam jumps time-and-again, his situation ever-worsening as he loses his grip on what is real in the reality he now inhabits, but regardless of logistics I was incredibly impressed by the film's density; a lot of thought has gone into this intricately constructed mind-fuck of a standalone story – a compliment (and it is a compliment) which cannot be levelled at The Butterfly Effect 2.

Personally, I could have done without the excessive mutilation scenes – the camera lingering a little too long on slashed-open corpses and blood-splattered limbs – and the wholly unnecessary soft core pornography. Now, I’m in no way opposed to such mature elements if they are warranted, but they are foreign to this franchise and thus all the more obvious. Furthermore, Revelations didn’t need to cheapen itself with such shameless titillation and gimmicky shocks when the story was enthralling enough without it.

Finally, I must applaud the deliciously dark conclusion, which – following the unforeseen reveal of the killer’s identity and the disturbing reasons behind the glut of murders – sees Sam jump back to a rather crucial milestone in his family’s history and make a difficult but altogether necessary decision for the good of the people he loves. It adds further fuel to my belief that this is a complex and emotionally superior sequel which far outshines its lazy predecessor, and it’s a pity Revelations has been buried on DVD and pigeonholed as a second rate horror.


In a CR@B Shell: “Jump” beyond the superfluous slasher flick gore and lowbrow smut and you will be able to appreciate The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations as a sinister yet remarkably inventive reignition of a previously exhausted franchise.
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* After Dark Films are the company behind recent vampire horror Prowl, which I reviewed HERE

Unhenged Fanatics

Book Review: THE STONEHENGE LEGACY
Written by: Sam Christer
481pages
Published by: Sphere
Released: 11th January 2011
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“A colourful male pheasant struts the lawn, cued by the first light on the
dew-soaked grass. Dull females follow in the bird’s wake, then feign disinterest
and peck at fat-filled coconut shells strung out by Chase’s gardener”

[SPOILERS] With such highfalutin and unnecessarily verbose prose just paragraphs from the narrative’s commencement, I was concerned that debut author Sam Christer’s Dan Brown-alike conspiracy thriller would be an uphill struggle of lofty and pretentious try-hard poetics. However, once the London-based writer had made his ostentatious mark upon the printed page and the story-proper revs up to full speed, I found myself becoming totally immersed in this horrible history murder mystery.

Set in the days leading up to the much-celebrated summer solstice, The Stonehenge Legacy presents to us a shady secret underworld of modern day druids who take their admiration of one of the worlds most mystical and mysterious ancient archaeological attractions to murderous heights. Following the suicide of his estranged father, archaeologist Gideon Chase uncovers a hidden library of coded diaries which lead him to disclosure shocking revelations about the clandestine group of Followers – and his own family history.

To imply that Megan Baker, the detective inspector assigned to the Chase suicide, “teams up” with the cult-uncovering protagonist (as the paperback’s cover blurb states) is something of a fallacy. Naturally, their paths do frequently cross during the on-going enquiry and she does gradually begin to acknowledge Gideon’s wild claims of blood sacrifices to the Gods, but they never collaborate to the extent Sophie Neveu and Robert Langdon do in The Da Vinci Code. Consider Blomqvist and Salander in the Millennium trilogy – minus the sex and unrequited love – and you’ll be closer to this pair’s relationship, so often are they separate and following their own leads.

The short chapters and even shorter sentences (sometimes full-stops are used where commas would have sufficed) keep the prospectively ludicrous plot at a relentlessly blistering pace, and the introduction of glamorous young American reality TV star Caitlyn Lock and her new Casanova boyfriend Jake Timberland spice up the conventional genre elements with a touch of lustful romance and open up the Wiltshire-based police investigation to an international scale.

Christer does a great job of fattening out his intrepid characters with comprehensive back stories, while the enigmatic nature of the robed and astronomically-monikered Followers allows for many a shock twist in exposing the true identities of the stone worshippers. However, I couldn’t help but feel like the earth-shattering revelations surrounding the sacred (curative?) landmark we were promised (“It is time for the truth” so teases the tagline) took a back seat to the climatic escape scenario, and DI Baker’s significance to the far-too-swiftly-resolved conclusion severely lessened once Gideon acquiesces to a rather dangerous invitation.


In a CR@B Shell: A fine and fast-paced debut, The Stonehenge Legacy is an appealing modern addition to the abundant post-Brown conspiracy thriller genre, if somewhat less of an eye-opening revelation than expected come the rather blunt crime-focused culmination.
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Survival of the Sickest

DVD Review: THE TOURNAMENT
18 – 91mins – 2009
Written by: Gary Young, Jonathan Frank, Nick Rowntree
Directed by: Scott Mann
Starring: Robert Carlyle, Kelly Hu, Ian Somerhalder, Liam Cunningham, Ving Rhames, Sebastien Foucan, Andy Nyman, Iddo Goldberg
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“Thirty contenders.
Twenty four hours.
One rule: Kill or be killed”

Every seven years, under the watchful surveillance of the world's richest and most unethical gamblers, the deadliest assassins on the planet converge on one unsuspecting town to take part in a brutal game of cat and corpse: elimination by death, only one will survive. The last man (or woman) standing will walk away with the $10,000,000 cash prize and the title of world's number one contract killer.

Think Death Race on foot; think Smoking Aces meets Battle Royale in a literal monster's ball – set in, ahem, Middlesbrough. The Tournament may not have the most original concept, but that doesn't stop it going out all guns raging in a blaze of visceral glory. The characters aren't as kooky as they could have been (Casino Royale's free running Sebastien Foucan and Lost's Ian Somerhalder as a finger-slicing Texan being the wildest cards), but they are bad-ass, and there's plenty of exploding heads, broken bones and executed strippers to keep the most demanding sadist cheering.

Middesborough doesn't exactly come out of the film favourably: represented as a grubby and sleepy backwater hovel dominated by sugar beet factories and a non-existent police force. There is *some* interaction with the city's population – a pair of footballing youngster's in the park, an iPod playing petrol station attendant, a bus full of dozing passengers – but the main contrast between the innocent and the immoral is provided by Robert Carlyle's drunken disgrace of a priest, Father MacAvoy, who is dragged into the mayhem when he inadvertently swallows Foucan's tracking device.

Little is made of this fretful Father's introduction into the tournament; he scarcely gets involved in any of the duals or gets his quivering hands dirty as he is continually protected by Kelly Hu's Lai Lai Zhen. Furthermore, his reprieve from certain death with mere minutes on the clock is disappointingly muted and – epilogue flash-forward aside – his character doesn't seem to grow at all throughout his incomprehensibly horrific trial by (gun) fire. How ironic that this lapsed man of the cloth is feeling lost and without purpose.

The film's emotional core is implemented by returning champion (and horror B-movie regular) Ving Rhames, out for revenge on the hit man who just four months previous murdered his pregnant wife. I liked the curveball direction this subplot took, gradually shining ever more light on the events surrounding this slaying of an innocent, however, The Tournament's two prominent and parallel stories (vicar's virtue and Ving's vengenance) do rather dominate the entire film, leaving little time for any other characters to get a look in.

The DVD cover lists the four main players, and all other bounty hunters are dispatched with so quickly that you barely remember their faces, much less their names – there's even a time-saving montage in the run-up to the third act to take the numbers from eighteen down to six! – while the CCTV-scanning gamblers remain little more than faceless entities who never even try to bride or influence the tournament's outcome, which seems unlikely given their somewhat skewed moral compasses and the make-or-break fortunes they are dealing in.


In a CR@B Shell: A brutal and relentless spraying of bullets and blood: The Tournament will turn as many stomachs as it flips, but for those twisted souls who don't mind getting their hands dirty, Scott Mann's battle royale really hits its mark, even if the story isn't as sharp as it could have been.
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Great Barrier Grief

DVD Review: THE REEF
15 – 84mins – 2010
Written by: Andrew Traucki
Directed by: Andrew Traucki
Starring: Damian Walshe-Howling, Zoe Naylor, Adrienne Pickering, Gyton Grantley, Kieran Darcy-Smith
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Despite the honking great fin and obligatory Jaws-referencing pull quote which grace the cover of Andrew Traucki's second film (and second water-based thriller), the Great White killing machine which plagues and plays with the troubled holiday-makers in this Australian survival thriller doesn't actually show up until over 43 minutes in – that's more than halfway through the film! But then, The Reef is based on true events, so the auteur's restraint in not diving straight to the shark-shaped money shots does aid the realism factor.

Of course, it is no doubt also a monetary issue, given the tight budget the low-key crew were working from. But that only makes the ever-present tension bubbling under the surface all the more impressive, as the capsized comrades make the difficult decision of whether to stay atop their sinkin' n' driftin' yacht or risk their luck in the deep blue sea and swim for the safety of land.

Effectively filmed by splicing together the close-up, shaky-cam footage of the water-treading actors with real shark shots and a minimum of post-production giggery-pokery, The Reef delivers the requisite jolts and scares despite a rather obvious tragedy-tinged plot (anyone who has seen Open Water or Adrift will know exactly what to expect). Nevertheless, the harrowing ordeal still leaves you thankful to be on dry land.


In a CR@B Shell: Chilling and authentic, The Reef may not revolutionise the underwater predator genre, but it stays afloat admirably amid a school of bigger-budgeted beasties.
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Ghosts in the Twilight

TV Review: THE HAUNTED AIRMAN
15 – 68mins – 2006
Teleplay by: Chris Durlacher
Based on the novel by: Dennis Wheatley
Directed by: Chris Durlacher
Starring: Robert Pattinson, Julian Sands, Rachael Sterling, Melisa Lloyd, Daniel Ainsleigh, Scott Handy, Peggy Popovic
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This loose literary reworking of Dennis Wheatley’s “The Haunting of Toby Jugg” stars Hollywood heart-throb Robert Pattinson in a post-Goblet, pre-Twilight role as the disabled and traumatised World War II RAF airman of the title, confined to a wheelchair and committed to a Welsh military hospital to recuperate both psychically and mentally from the injuries that have befallen him.

Whereas Wheatley's 1948 source novel had a strong element of the occult and genuine supernatural hocus-pocus, Chris Durlacher’s BBC Four adaptation keeps all the horrors inside Toby’s shell-shocked mind, as this psychologically damaged patient is plagued by nightmares of the innocent families he killed in bombing raids, while hallucination-conjured spiders scuttle en-mass over his duvet.

In the dreary daylight hours, meanwhile, Toby cannot escape the creeping suspicion that his doctor, Hal Burns (Julian Sands), doesn’t have his best interests at heart, while the aunt (yes, aunt) Toby loves and wishes to marry (Rachael Sterling) isn’t returning any of his handwritten correspondence. With all of this weighing on the disabled pilot’s mind, The Haunted Airman certainly provides the rising Brit-born star with a chance to stretch his limbs – dramatically speaking, at least. Not that Edward Cullen is ever a bundle of laughs...

But for all of the eerie atmosphere and low-shot camera angles, this modest dramatisation is simply far too sluggish to grip your attention, even at little over an hour long. Intercutting scenes within the dank hospital with scarlet-drenched flashbacks to deafeningly chaotic and dramatically shot war memories is clearly an attempt to stun and disillusion the viewer, but it merely comes across as a confusing hindrance, to little narrative purpose.

Style over substance? That certainly seems to be Durlacher's intention, but this tactic is only successful when a production's distinctiveness compliments the material, not when tumultuous cutaways are edited in to juxtapose the brooding and uneventful story at seemingly haphazard instances. Ultimately, the transient tale's conclusion fails to justify the build-up or deliver a satisfying enough twist to tie the events together, leaving you with a creeping suspicion that the cast and crew have somehow missed the point of Wheatley's vision entirely.


In a CR@B Shell: Arachnophobes will be paralysed with fear, but true horror hounds will be left dispirited. Wheatley fans, meanwhile, will cry blasphemy at the significant changes to the novel's essence. Mark this weary Beeb “thriller” up as strictly for R-Patz droolers only.
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Coffin Fit

Cine Review: BURIED
15 – 94mins – 2010
Written by: Chris Sparling
Directed by: Rodrigo Cortés
Starring: Ryan Reynolds
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[SPOILERS] After a summer of spectacle stuffed, CGI crammed, bloated blockbusters, what a breath of fresh air this little Spanish/Australian film is: one actor, one minuscule set, one almighty twist, gallons of tension and not a jot of artificial light or computer gimmickry. Maybe it's true what the Oulipian's say: sometimes the best results are bred from the tightest restrictions – and Buried is, quite literally, the epitome of restricted expression.

Ryan Reynolds is utterly superb as American truck driver Paul Conroy, a working class family man whose convoy is attacked while delivering appliances in Iraq. He awakens gagged and bound in the pitch black of a wooden coffin with only a zippo lighter and a mobile phone with intermittent signal. This will be his – and our – prison for the next hour and a half as the camera tracks awkwardly but skillfully around the claustrophobic location. The only contact we have with the outside world are the voices we hear on the other end of Paul's mobile phone.

Cynics may have considered funnyman Reynolds to be something of a risk as the sole actor in a ambitious and dramatic film, the success of which rests solely on his lightweight shoulders. Thankfully he more than delivers a genuine and affecting performance loaded with gravitas as an anxiety-ridden everyman in a nightmarishly terrifying abnormal situation.

Your blood will escalate and your heart will be in your mouth as Paul's desperate dial-outs for help reach many a frustrating dead end: his family's answer machine, an unhelpful 911 operator (Anne Lockhart), inhumane employer Alan Davenport (Stephen Tobolowsky) and protocol-following kidnap specialist Dan Brenner (Robert Paterson – no, not him), all the while receiving chilling phone demands from his terrorist captor (Jose Luis Garcia Perez).

The clock is ticking and the air is running out in this real-time thriller as Paul begs Dan to pay his captor's $1 million ransom demand by 9pm and release him from his underground hell. The darkness is terrifying as time passes with just the sound of Paul's intense breathing as a soundtrack: tension mounts to a heart pounding crescendo as futility sets in and options dwindle.

Writer Chris Sparling and director Rodrigo Cortés's tribute to Hitchcockian concepts is clarified with a familiarly dynamic title sequence, but Buried is an aspiring success in its own right which will stay with you long after the air runs out.


In a CR@B Shell: Sparling, Cortés and Reynolds squeeze the maximum tension from the smallest of set-ups. Buried is a masterclass in suspense which plunges us six feet under for 94 tense, uneasy but powerful minutes.
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Prison Monkeys

Blu Review: THE EXPERIMENT
15 – 96mins – 2010
Screenplay by: Paul Scheuring
Based on the novel “Black Box” by Mario Giordano, and the film Das Experiment (2001)
Directed by: Paul Scheuring
Starring: Adrien Brody, Forest Whitaker, Cam Gigandet, Clifton Collins Jnr., Ethan Cohn, Damien Leake, Travis Fimmel, David Banner, Fisher Stevens and Maggie Grace
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Eight years ago now, whilst I was away studying at university, a housemate of mine introduced me to a German film called Das Experiment (2001). He promised me that I would be utterly engrossed yet equally appalled by the psychological terrorism employed by the characters – a group of strangers being paid to take part in the titular study – and it would really make me question the term “humanity”. He wasn't wrong.

Almost a decade later and Hollywood has belatedly done what Hollywood does best (ahem) and remade a foreign language film which never needed to be remade, drafting in big name stars (Adrien Brody, Forest Whitaker) and well known faces (Maggie Lost Grace, Cam The O.C. Gigandet, Fisher Short Circuit Stevens) to show their range in this cruel and gritty prison observation gone very, very wrong.

That being said, as the credits rolled on The Experiment, I was just as riled up and exasperated by the narrative as I was in my dorm room back in 2002: this adaptation loses none of its potency in the translation as the designated “guards” – among them mild-mannered Christian mummy's boy Barris (Whitaker) – see the power of authority go straight to their heads as their treatment of the “inmates” – including recently unemployed carer Travis (Brody) – spirals into sadism.

It may seem incredulous that within 48 hours of the proposed 14 day study civility starts to crack as the guards enjoy their temporary authority a little too much, believing they can get away with whatever the hell they like providing the revered red light doesn't turn on and indicate that big brother is unhappy, but The Experiment bares a horrifically close resemblance to the real life 1971 Stanford prison experiment, itself likewise aborted just six days into a two week trial: this shit actually happened, people!

My initial reaction was that it seemed remiss of writer/director Paul Scheuring to not reveal study leader Archaleta's (Stevens) reasons for delaying the cancellation of his controversial research, especially after bullying and cruelty is asserted upon the “prisoners”; but in hindsight the director made the correct choice, plunging us too into the mock penal environment, forever looking to the red light for guidance.

Whether in German or English, The Experiment is a tortuous and difficult watch, there's no denying that. You'll pick your side and you'll question everything as common decency gets dunked down the toilet and your sense of guilt is shoved into solitary confinement all in the name of a $14,000 paycheck. Is it true what they say: are we all just animals in suits who will turn feral the minute law is placed in our greedy paws?


In a CR@B Shell: As psychotic as it is psychological, The Experiment is a brutally shocking Lord of the Flies for grown-ups. It will enrage and upset your moral code, but you won't be able to look away.
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Creed Corrupts

Blu Review: THE DISAPPEARANCE OF ALICE CREED
18 – 100mins – 2009
Written by: J. Blakeson
Directed by: J. Blakeson
Starring: Gemma Arterton, Eddie Marsan, Martin Compston
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From oily Bond Girl to country slapper, via guardian Goddess and Persian Princess, it's been quite a breakthrough couple of years for Kent-born actress Gemma Arterton, so it was intriguing to see the A-lister who would be Tamara Drewe in a gritty and low key indie thriller – especially one which demanded her to be gagged and tied up for ninety percent of the shoot.

Arterton certainly has a rough ole' time of it as the eponymous victim Alice, bundled into the back of a van and locked away in a makeshift bedroom-come-prison by partners in crime Danny (Martin Compston) and the older and more proficient Vic (Eddie Sherlock Holmes Marsan). No other characters are introduced for the remainder of the film, as the nervy youngster Danny follows meticulous plotter Vic's lead in making calls to demand a ransom and checking up on their distressed captive.

Although the violence isn't tenaciously intense it is at times downright harrowing (particularly when Arterton is cut out of her clothes or made to urinate in a jug, shackled to the bed throughout), with all three players delivering steely performances which you truly believe in.

Sparse and contained though the action may be, The Disappearance of Alice Creed is deceptive in its scope, with the plot constantly evolving as backstory reveals throw up left field twists which cast the characters and their bleak situation into remarkable new light.

That first time auteur J. Blakeson adeptly manages such convolutions without the script feeling forcibly constructed or expositionary is miraculous. For instance, we learn that Danny has been in prison, but we are not sure for what crimes; we are told that Alice hates her multi-millionaire father, but we never discover what aggravated her resentment; while cold-blooded kidnap expert Vic largely remains a mystery until desperation sets in.

Fundamentally, the details are insignificant to the scenario and would only dilute the potency of the mystery (even the location of the flat holding cell is never revealed): characterisation is key here, and Blakeson's effectively drawn out exploration of his limited cast's complex relationships leads to a properly nailbiting spider's web of a thriller.


In a CR@B Shell: Low in key but high in trepidation, writer/director J. Blakeson's debut feature is an impressively executed three way powerplay which intrigues as persistently as it disturbs.
aaaaa

A Job to Die For

DVD Review: EXAM
15 – 101mins – 2010
Screenplay by: Stuart Hazeldine
Story by: Simon Garrity and Stuart Hazeldine
Directed by: Stuart Hazeldine
Starring: Luke Mably, Adar Beck, Chris Carey, Gemma Chan, Nathalie Cox, John Lloyd Fillingham, Chukwudi Iwuji, Pollyanna McIntosh, Jimi Mistry, Colin Salmon
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If you thought people were desperate enough to do anything for a job in our current recession-hit era, then you ain’t seen nothin' yet. Exam is a taut, tense and atmospheric low budget thriller set in the near future (“Soon” so the title card reads) which gets a lot of mileage out of literally holing a set of strangers up in a locked room with one objective, then watching them fall apart from behind a blackout screen.

Eight competing candidates from divergent social and ethnic backgrounds, all gunning for the same position at a sketchy, high-powered company; just how far will they go to get their dream job when the one question they must answer is a riddle which demands they band together? An assured and hard-hitting debut from writer and director Stuart Hazeldine, Exam continues to shock and surprise as the eager contenders turn on one another and are one-by-one ejected for breaking the brash invigilator’s (Colin Salmon) strict but carefully worded rules. Pay attention at the back!

As the clock runs down and the blank exam paper still eludes the unnamed careerists, determination turns implausibly ugly in the purportedly lawless confines. Ruthless doesn’t do these guys justice. The solution is a little hackneyed for tingeing the low-fi situation with a science-fiction hue, but Exam is still worth sitting. Let’s just hope this company has a staff counsellor on site - and a darn good lawyer…


CR@B Verdict: An unsympathetic and vicious study of humanity under pressure, Exam’s claustrophobic, finely constructed mystery concept plays like The Cube meets The Apprentice. Alan Sugar, eat your heart out. Stuart Hazeldine? You’re hired.
***

Cause And Special Effects

Blu Review: THE BOX
12 – 115mins – 2009
Written for the screen by: Richard Kelly
Adapted from the short story “Button, Button” by: Richard Mattheson
Directed by: Richard Kelly
Starring: Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, Frank Langella, Sam Oz Stone, James Rebhorn, Holmes Osbourne, Gillian Jacobs
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Richard Kelly has had mixed success with his film career so far. After scoring gold with his head-scratcher of a time-twisting, thought-provoking debut, Donnie Darko (2001), he took aaaaages to bring us the disastrous, bloated mess that was Southland Tales (2006). Even with personal favourite Sarah Michelle Gellar playing a porn star (!) I still detested the film to such a degree that I nearly gave up on film watching altogether. Nearly.

So now we come to his latest attempt to confound, mystify and enlighten audiences: The Box, based on a short story from I Am Legend scribe Richard Mattheson. Dubiously, I decided to give it a go… Set in 1976, high school teacher Norma Lewis (Cameron Diaz) and her NASA optics engineer husband Arthur (James Marsden) are chosen by the mysterious lightening-disfigured Arlington Steward (Frank Langella) to take a morally questionable test based around the titular MacGuffin: you have 24 hours to decide whether to push the button, or not. If you do, you will receive $1million dollars (woo). However, somebody you don’t know will die (boo).

What would YOU do?


For the first hour of its 115minute running time, The Box was a taught, tense and credibly atmospheric drama probing human morals, greed, suspicion and paranoia – with a genuinely creepy edge. It’s hardly a spoiler for me to tell you that Norma does push the button, a decision both she and Arthur instantly regret. Indeed, their “winnings” are locking in the basement and barely given another thought. Arlington (see pic, above) accrues the mystery by refusing to answer questions about his shady and immoral test, but knowing far more than a human ever could – and he seems to have mumbling, bleary-eyed “employees” everywhere...

The film takes itself very seriously, and the cast play everything inflexibly straight, even as we pass the hour mark and things take a bizarre supernatural turn which threatens to derail the impressive first half. It brought to mind the genre-swapping shift midway through From Dusk Til Dawn (1996), only far, far less successful. Creepy gives way to kooky, especially when a visit to the library offers up a further test for Arthur in the form of three Stargate-esque portals, one of which offers him salvation yet leaves him floating above Norma in their bedroom, cocooned in a cube of dubiously CGI-ed water(!!).

Somehow, someway, following ethereal revelations, shootings and a kidnapping, the film eventually comes full circle, ending with god-wannabe Arlington making Arthur choose between his wife’s life and his son, Walter‘s (Sam Oz Stone), health, before the Two Face-channelling obscurity heads down the street to give another couple The Box…

Maybe the book made more sense?!


CR@B Verdict: Neither a Darko-dimensioned delight, nor a Southland-shaped shambles, The Box starts out as a tense psychological chiller before showing its true (shark-jumping) sci-fi hue. A curious and peculiar piece which may benefit from a repeat viewing – or locking away in the basement… What would YOU do?
**.5

Blu Review: MICHAEL JACKSON'S THIS IS IT

PG – 111 mins – 2009
Directed by: Kenny Ortega
Stage Concept by: Michael Jackson and Kenny Ortega
Starring: Michael Jackson, Kenny Ortega, Travis Payne, Nick Bass, Judith Hill

THE FILM:
*****
It is hard for me to review This Is It without extreme bias, considering Michael Jackson is an idol of mine whose career I have followed for nearly 20 years (I’m 25, for those who don’t know me). His planned return to the stage in July 2009 would have been the first time I would have been able to witness his talent live, having missed out on the opportunity to see the HIStory Tour when it came to Wembley Stadium in 1997 (but that’s a whole other story!!). Alas, it wasn’t to be, and with his passing on June 25th last year, the world lost one of the greatest entertainers and humanitarians that ever lived.

This resultant documentary, edited together from nearly 100 hours of preparation and rehearsal footage from April-June by project co-director and long-time Jackson collaborator Kenny Ortega, proves that even at the age of 50, and after the numerable cruelties he had had to endure over his all-too-short lifetime, Michael Jackson still had the talent, the vision, the determination and the love (that’s spelt L.O.V.E. :-D) to stand while other’s kicked him down.

Even in their raw and unfinished forms, these performances of his biggest hits still leave you "Speechless" (did ya see what I did there? No?! Well go and listen to Invincible!!). The man was born to perform and he leaves dancers half his age gawping in awe as he glides, sidewalks, pops and locks across the Staples Centre and Forum stage. But Michael Jackson was not content to merely perform; he wanted these shows to be the biggest and grandest shows EVER, with a plethora of amazing outfits, sets, effects and visual accompaniments. Giant “Zombie Brides” would have floated down the o2 aisles while a brand new 3D "Thriller" short film came out of the screen and climaxed with a giant black widow crawling onto the stage and opening to reveal the man himself who would have launched into his creepy 80's classic. It certainly would have been a show to remember, even if, truth be told, we would have been just as spellbound by the man, a microphone and a spotlight. And maybe a fedora.

True, not all of the concepts on show are as polished or complete as MJ – always the perfectionist – would have been comfortable revealing to the world, but this behind the scenes glimpse gives fans a chance to see the man at work, doing what he loved for the last time. It makes for a bittersweet viewing experience; "Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’" makes you want to dance (and shout), "Man In The Mirror" makes you reflect and "I’ll Be There" makes you cry as you realise this may be 'it' for Michael’s time on this earth, but his legacy will live on forever.

SPECIAL FEATURES:
***
Numerous featurettes all elaborate upon all the aspects of the show production – the auditions, the bling-tastic costumes, the set-pieces, the choreography – featuring a number of talking heads all praising the man himself (naturally). In truth, some repeat over similar ground and could easily have been condensed into 2 or 3 sizeable documentaries, while the main reason we are watching – Michael Jackson himself – is only featured in cut-away glimpses. The footage of him and co-choreographer Travis Payne rehearsing dance routines in front of a studio mirror are worth the price of the disc alone (especially when they bust out to "2 Bad" – one of my favourites).

European exclusive bonus feature “The Unfinished Rehearsals” (to be fair, we have had to wait a month longer than our American friends) gives us a glimpse at the ambitious concepts behind "Dirty Diana" and "Smooth Criminal", the former - featuring a pole dancer and a fiery bed prop - was due to be rehearsed on June 25th.
The Blu-ray also features the 2009 remakes of "Thriller" (screenshot above) and "Smooth Criminal" short films (although not in 3D as they would have been viewed at the o2), as well as a "Making of Smooth Criminal" vignette, detailing the painstaking process of superimposing a green-screened MJ into classic film noir scenes.

A 24 page photographic archive rounds out the package, which is a nice physical accompaniment to the disc content, featuring a lot of never-before-seen rehearsal stills.

Alas, what is missing from this release are the eagerly anticipated ‘deleted scenes’, AKA, the missing rehearsals: "Dangerous", "Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough", "Rock With You", "Heal The World", "We Are The World", "Stranger In Moscow" and "You Are Not Alone" were all practised, but none are on the disc. No doubt Sony will drip-feed us the additional footage over many years and many re-re-re-re-re-releases. Which is a shame, but us MJ fans are kind of used to that by now… As the man himself sang: “Anything for Money”.