Galaxy Defenders

TV Review: MEN IN BLACK: THE ANIMATED SERIES – SEASON ONE, VOLUME ONE
PG – 145mins – 1997
Based on the Malibu comic series created by: Lowell Cunningham
Executive Producers: Laurie MacDonald, Walter F. Parkes, Richard Raynis, Rafael Rosado
Starring the voice talents of: Ed O’Ross, Keith Diamond, Jennifer Lien, Charles Napier, Pat Pinney, Pat Fraley, Tony Shaloub, Eddie Barth, David Warner, Sherman Howard, Rino Romano
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Getting maximum wear out of the last suit they’ll ever don, intergalactic Agents Jay (Keith Diamond) and Kay (Ed O’Ross) return in this animated spin-off of continued undercover adventures to keep the Earth safe from – and ignorant of – the scum of the Universe.

Much like 1997’s other franchise-emanated line-drawn supernatural enforcers, the Extreme Ghostbusters (Volume One reviewed HERE), Men In Black: The Animated Series by-and-large employs a “foe of the week” plot formula which works best when the capers reference or utilize the cache of oddball characters established in the blockbuster films.

For instance, Frank the Pug (Eddie Barth) and Jeebs the limb re-sprouting pawnshop clerk (Tony Shaloub – reprising his role from the films) make a couple of welcome appearances, while the coffee-slurping Worms and mainframe-operating Twins are ever-present in the background at MIB HQ.

Kay is as solemn and tight-lipped about his past as Tommy Lee Jones is on the big screen, while silver tongued rookie Jay is relentlessly optimistic about chipping away his partner’s austerity. Unfortunately, despite its colourful menagerie of alien adversaries, this series suffers from feeling too flat and being too smothered by Kay’s resolute gruffness – Jay is rarely given a chance to shine and any focus on his character is usually to highlight his naïve ineptitude.

This seven episode, single disc collection is simply too short and would have benefited from being packaged alongside Volume Two (available separately) – particularly as Sony have four seasons worth of adventures at their disposal! Nevertheless, a returning character in the form of cricket-legged bounty hunter Buzzard (Sherman Howard) does provide satisfying symmetry between episodes #02 and #07, capping off this slender set nicely.


In a CR@B Shell: The team of writer’s try valiantly to inject Agent Jay with Will Smith’s mischievous overconfidence, but Men In Black: The Animated Series feels too suppressed under Kay’s cloak of misery to come to life. MIB? More like DOA.
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Battlefield: Brixton

Cine Review: ATTACK THE BLOCK
15 – 87mins – 2011
Written by: Joe Cornish
Directed by: Joe Cornish
Starring: John Boyega, Jodie Whittacker, Alex Esmail, Franz Drameh, Leeon Jones, Simon Howard, Luke Treadaway, Paige Meade, Danielle Vitalis, Nick Frost
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Newport-based rap outfit Goldie Lookin’ Chain must be brap, brap, brapping themselves stupid right about now. If only they had sung: “Guns don’t kill people, giant gorilla alien-things do”, their 2004 spoof megahit would have been an absolute shoe-in for the gangsta rap soundtrack to this genre-blending council estate sci-fi mash-up which. You get me?

Injecting the gritty realism of lower class city life with a triple shot of smugness, humour and blazin' honour, South London ’s concrete jungle plays hosts to a gang war on an intergalactic scale as the subhuman chavvie homeboys of “The Block” take on nonhuman invaders to their patch.

The stereotypes are out in full force as the ASBO delinquents tool up with all manner of switchblades, baseball bats and fireworks to fend off the black-furred, neon-fanged ET’s on this fateful Bonfire Night after gang leader Moses (Boyega) arrogantly decides to kill one of the meteor-carried “tings” in the name of pride. Big mistake, bruv.

Written and directed by Brit comic and feature film debutant Joe Cornish of Adam and Joe Show renown, Attack the Block is a meteor storm of culture-cussing comedy, explosive action, gross-out horror and creature-feature science fiction. Yet, the myriad of juxtaposing elements never feel out of whack and the cocktail concept never feels bloated. To Cornish’s credit: it works.

An obvious comparison would be to Anglo zom-com Shaun of the Dead (even more pertinent an association because both films share producers and star Nick Frost), but Attack lacks Shaun’s cosy charm, given the thuggish depravity of its main spliff-smoking, slang-spouting brats, who are introduced to us mugging student nurse Sam (Whittaker), taking her on 5:1. Ras-pect? Jog on, boys.

As their bluster bombs in the face of real danger, you will begin to warm to our posse of inner-city anti-heroes, as they team up with a reluctant Sam to fight the gremlins and evade the “Feds” (that’s the police to you and I) in between checking in with their curfew-administering ‘rents. The disparity between their public and private image is the source of much humour, particularly with two nine year old pipsqueaks who are desperate to join the adventure, arming themselves with cap guns, super-soakers and the laughably portentous pseudonyms “Props” and “Mayhem”.

As is often the case, the trailer all-too-successfully provides a snapshot clip show of the film’s funniest lines (“I just want to go home, lock my door, and play FIFA”), but at just under 90mins, Attack the Block never outstays its welcome, and most importantly never bores with its unrepentant onslaught. Nick Frost is criminally underused as pot-farming waster Ron, but the kidz are the real star of this show, even if you’ll leave the cinema still thinking they’re from another planet.


In a CR@B Shell: You’ll have initial trouble sympathising with the mouthy little shits, but you can’t deny their doggedness. Likewise, if you stick with Joe Cornish’s debut, you won’t be able to deny Attack isn’t a Block-busting tour de force which manages to be both great fun and bloody fierce entertainment. Boyakasha!
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Like Moths to a Flame

DVD Review: SKYLINE
15 – 88mins – 2010
Written by: Joshua Cordes and Liam O'Donnell
Directed by: Colin and Greg Strause
Starring: Eric Balfour, Scottie Thompson, Donald Faison, Brittany Daniel, Crystal Reed, David Zayas, Neil Hopkins, Robin Gammell
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Some films are so heavily documented during pre-production that you even know who the friggin' dish washer in the crew canteen was before you’ve seen a cell of footage or word of dialogue. The Hobbit and The Dark Knight Rises are two recent examples of overexposure caused by internet buzz. Sometimes, however, it’s nice to be caught off guard; to be wowed by a spectacular trailer to a film you’re completely clueless about. This was how I was introduced to Skyline; a smile flourishing across my face as what looked to be a union of Independence Day and Cloverfield played out in front of me.

Of course I’ve been caught out by this “tease(r) of hope” before. Indeed, Skyline’s directorial duo The Brother’s Strause previewed their debut feature Alien vs Predator: Requiem splendidly, only for the finished film to be overly-dark, legacy-soiling dross. But I had hope for their latest release – after all, it couldn’t be any worse than AvP2…. Right?

The critics, alas, were not kind to Skyline, and I feared another sci-fi dud from the sibling’s who made their name as special effects gurus before taking the leap to auteurs. But – hallelujah – Skyline did not disappoint! Okay, yes, so the alien invasion story told through the eyes of the “common man” does owe a debt of gratitude to Cloverfield, while the hovering motherships and techno-organic extraterrestrials do bring District 9’s “prawns” to mind, but Skyline is a slick genre production in its own right, regardless of comparisons.

The reason for the people-hoovering invasion is hinted at but never spelled out, while the military retaliation against the light-emitting, human enticing foes is only seen from afar, as a group of survivors – including Turk from Scrubs, aka Donald Faison, and Six Feet Under’s Eric Balfour – hide, plan, escape then retreat from the mysterious threat.

An underground car park getaway provides the jaw-dropping personal highlight in a story which trickles along agreeably, only stalling slightly as the group are forced back into their apartment yet again, while the climatic peak within the bestial Alien-alike chamber of semi-conscious bodies does feel like a bit of a stretch. However, I appreciate the risk for attempting a character arc between Balfour and girlfriend Scottie Thompson.

The forthcoming DVD and Blu-ray package includes a deluge of insight from the Strauss brother’s and the writing double act of Cordes and O'Donnell in a pair of feature-length commentary tracks, as well as bonus commentaries on a number of deleted and extended scenes. Personally, the added character insight these scenes reveals would have benefited the feature – which at just 88minutes including credits was hardly overburdened with flab – but Skyline still works as the sleek and streamlined treat it is.


In a CR@B Shell: The only way was up after the disaster that was AvP2, and Skyline is just that – both literally and metaphorically. Colin and Greg Strause have delivered a taut and glossy sci-fi mini-epic which is inspired without being derivative.
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The Eagle has Crash-landed

Book Review: AQUILA
Written by: Andrew Norriss
138 pages
Published by: Puffin Modern Classics
Originally released: 1997
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I can fondly remember looking forward to the weekly instalments of CBBC’s serialised adaptation of Andrew Norriss’s Aquila as an imaginative 13 year old. A flying spaceship which can turn invisible and freeze time with a laser really appealed to me then - and still does today as I approach my 27th birthday! 14 years may have passed, but I can still recall the thunderous spoken Latin message which accompanied the opening titles. Ahhh, good times!

Even back then I was aware the series – also penned by Norriss, who co-created 90's sitcom The Brittas Empire – was based on a novel, and immediately sort to buy said book, but I can remember being curious as to how they could possibly make a second series (which followed on BBC1 in December 1998) given how there wasn’t a follow-up novel...?

Well now there is! Author Andrew Norriss belatedly released Aquila 2 just last year, and the excited child inside me couldn’t pass up the opportunity to revisit the original story before continuing the adventures of school boys Geoff and Tom and their 6000 year old alien spacecraft.

The underachieving best mates discover Aquila - which means "Eagle" in Latin, in case you were confused by this blog's title - while bunking off a school geography trip and falling into a cave where the skeleton of a Roman soldier is still guarding his prized possession. But rather than using the extraordinary craft to take them on all manner of wild and exotic misadventures, the paper-thin plot instead details their attempts to get the thing home and hidden from their parents and the authorities.

What I found fascinating about the story was how the narrative was just as much about the teacher’s reservations regarding the work-shy pair’s sudden interest in all things bilingual, mathematical and aerodynamic as it was about the unearthed flying pod. Norriss derives a lot of humour from the adult characters – the suspicious school staff, Geoff’s inattentive dad, Tom’s agoraphobic mother, Mrs Murphy the senile, pill-popping next door neighbour – while making Tom and Geoff as “normal” and relatable as possible.

Aquila is essentially a high concept MacGuffin. The extraterrestrial machine isn’t the adventure itself, but merely serves as the catalyst which inspires Tom and Geoff’s personal adventure: it fuels their determination and unlocks their dormant capabilities to achieve whatever they set their minds to. Yes, granted, it’s a twee morality tale, but let’s not forget this is a children’s book, and Norriss disguises his message stealthily beneath the humour and wonder of the lad’s enquiring attempts at discovering what their awe-inspiring treasure is capable of.


In a CR@B Shell: A light, witty and inspirational parable on setting your mind to a goal and reaching for the sky, Aquila impressed me all over again as an adult rediscovering this modern children’s classic and I can’t wait to see where Norriss takes the inquisitive schoolboys in the sequel.
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Mirth of the Living Dead

DVD Review: UNDEAD
15 – 100mins – 2003
Written by: Michael and Peter Spierig
Directed by: Michael and Peter Spierig
Starring: Felicity Mason, Mungo McKay, Rob Jenkins, Lisa Cunningham, Dirk Hunter, Emma Randall, Noel Sheridan, Gaynor Wensley, Eleanor Stillman, Robyn Moore
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Meteor showers, acid rain, a zombie uprising, killer fish, ghostly apparitions and alien abductions – you certainly can’t accuse the Spierig brother’s first feature of being uneventful. But anyone – myself included – watching this wild Australian horror in the wake of their 2009 breakthrough hit Daybreakers should not be expecting a tonally analogous ride. Pity, then, that Anchor Bay recently repackaged the film with a misleadingly dour cover...

Whereas the twin auteur’s future-set vampire apocalypse was a furiously severe and sombre horror, 2003’s Undead is a madcap tongue-in-cheek affair which packs as many laughs as gloriously embellished deaths into its 100 zany minutes. Strictly speaking it’s not a parody, although Michael and Peter do little to disguise their “splatstick” influences: this is essentially The Evil Dead (1981) mating with Bad Taste (1987) in George A. Romero’s cellar.

You can therefore be certain that you won’t be able to keep a straight face as the townsfolk of fishing community Berkeley start developing a taste for brain matter and a spiky extraterrestrial barricade quarantines the human survivors alongside their undead neighbours. Mungo McKay camps it up as the eccentric outsider Marion who is never short of a gun or twelve, leading the shabby mortal resistance against the torrents of supernatural activity.

Just when you think Undead can’t possibly get any wackier, the Spierig brothers throw in another comic book nemesis for our wearied protagonists to battle, bludgeon and behead. It’s all farcically over the top and riotous fun, but the busy plot does begin to feel rather scattershot in its approach, as if a multitude of genre elements are being shoehorned in just for the sake of it.

Nevertheless, anyone who fancies a chortle at a pair of bodiless legs stumbling aimlessly in search of a torso is in for a treat: Undead is unquestionably a tour de force of carnage and comedy. Lamentably, as the credits rolled I was left with a prevailing sense of frustration, trying desperately to work out how the haphazard plot strands pulled together to reach such a crazy conclusion. Perhaps I was paying too much attention…?


In a CR@B Shell: More farcical than frightening, Undead is a hyperbolic homage to old school horror comedy which is best watched in a braindead, booze-addled state.
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