I've Got a Bad Feeling About This...

Event Review: NORWICH SCI-FI CONVENTION 2011
11th September 2011
University of East Anglia
http://www.nor-con.co.uk/
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Having raised questions about my feelings towards East Anglia's topmost celebration of all things sci-fi and fantasy following last year's "Nor-Con" (reviewed HERE), I must have been glutton for punishment by getting my hopes up that 2011's event would be any better. But with Craig “Lister” Charles, Robert “Kryten” Llewellyn and Danny “Cat” John-Jules all confirmed as guests, I was nigh-on ecstatic about the opportunity to complete my Red Dwarf autograph collection following last year's meetings with Chris “Rimmer” Barrie and Norman “Holly” Lovett (both of whom were also in attendance again this year).

The first blow of the day came as we were about to enter UEA's LCR when I was pre-warned by my friend (and fellow blogger) Mr. Downie that star guest Craig Charles had pulled out at the eleventh hour due to “work commitments and contractual obligations with the BBC”. Now, we all know that Mr Charles is currently playing cabbie Lloyd in Coronation Street (though that literally is the extent of my knowledge), but Corrie is on ITV, so unless the organisers got the wrong channel, it sounds like a pretty poor excuse to me. True, Red Dwarf once was a BBC production, but they long ago gave up on the show and it has since moved to Dave. And besides, why on earth would "Lister" have been called in on his own when the rest of the cast were still able to fulfil their Nor-Con obligations?!

Tickets had apparently sold incredibly well for this year's event (up 300% on last year, according to the website), and the difference in numbers was noticeable from the minute we entered the bustling main room. Of course the LCR is hardly Wembley Arena, but it was still good to see that word was getting out (this is, after all, all for charity). Unfortunately, the traders, stalls and menagerie of costumed look-a-likes were all essentially identical to last year and within 10minutes we had snooped and perused the overpriced merchandise as much as we possibly could.

Moving into the venue's second room (just off from the restaurant and vending machines) where all the “meet and greet”s take place, Chris Barrie once again had a colossal queue while everyone else was lucky to have one or two people waiting to speak to them. It all looked worrying similar to the year before – we even wondered whether Chris and Norman were still wearing the same shirts! Illogically, Robert Llewellyn – who you would have considered to be a huge draw given his Twitter popularity, not to mention his online Carpool's (now showing on Dave, too) and his time on Scrapheap Challenge – was not even in this room but squeezed between traders in the busy main hall, where most people either walked straight by him, or couldn't get passed the crowd of people milling about!

More worryingly still, the place reserved for Danny John-Jules was filled by a replica Dalek – and no-one had any idea where the hell he was! It transpired that he was “held up” at a motorbike show and was therefore no longer coming – what a let down! My dreams of seeing all the "Boys from the Dwarf" was destroyed: having already met two last year, the only acquisition to my autograph collection was "Kryten" – and he was charging a rather hefty £15 a go (not for charity, I might add)! I realise that sometimes things crop up, it's unavoidable, but for two of the day's biggest guests to either pull out ridiculously late or simply not turn up is frankly appalling and I, for one, was hugely disappointed and felt somewhat cheated out of my £9 entrance fee.

Following a half hour "Celebrity Lunch Time", I was hoping that the “Red Dwarf Q&A” - planned for 1:30pm on the main stage - would lift my spirits, but after being kept waiting for some 20minutes (on top of the 25 we'd already waited to guarantee a good view) while they belatedly finished their lunches (what were they eating, a three course meal?!), I was less than impressed by the amateurish organisation which left Norman Lovett without a microphone and Chris Barrie with earache after his mic had a bad case of feedback. With “Matt Smith” on question duty, the embarrassment continued as Chris Barrie was asked an era-hopping question about Torchwood's Carptain Jack Harkness – a character he had never heard of and needed much assistance in placing.

We left pretty soon after that - before Robert Llewellyn had even answered a question - having realised that for all the organiser's good intentions and boasts of a “bigger, better” event, 2011 did not live up to 2010's less-than-stellar expectations. I guess that without the novelty value of last year's first time (which, lest we forget, brought us “Darth Vader” eating a ham salad and me chastising “Holly” for munching on a digestive), Nor-Con's faults were laid bare, expounded by the disappointment of unreliable celebrities. I'm sad to say that it would take a major celeb at next year's event to get me to even consider going again – but even then they probably wouldn't bother turning up!

Every Concert Tells a Story

Who? Rod Stewart
What? Live
When? Wednesday 8th June 2011
Where? Carrow Road, Norwich
Why? Why not?
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At 4:15pm on Wednesday night I was sitting at work thinking the evening ahead consisted of a meeting and a trip to see The Hangover: Part II at the cinema. I had no plans of seeing Faces rocker Rod Stewart live in concert – either that night or any other, if I’m being brutally honest. My Uncle is a huge fan and he has played his The Very Best of… CD on many a family get-together, but otherwise the suggestion of attending a gig hadn’t even crossed my mind. Particularly not at £60 a head!

Then I received a phone call: my aunt’s friend had come down sick and they wanted to know if I fancied taking her place. Well, I considered: why not? Within the hour I had contacted those who would be affected by my last minute change of plans; I was home, changed, fed and on my way to the home of Norwich City Football Club with a ticket in my hand and no idea of what to expect from the forthcoming entertainment.

Upon informing people of my destination, I was surprised by the backlash of sneers and apathy aimed at one of the most successful performers of all time (17th, according to Billboard). Granted, I may not be a *huge* Rod Stewart fan myself, but his music is fun, jaunty, amiable and hardly offensive to any genres – what’s to sneer at?

You may be surprised by just how many of Mr Stewart’s vast back catalogue of hits you do actually know: “Maggie May”, “You Wear It Well”, “Sailing”, “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?”, “Handbags and Gladrags”, “I Don’t Want to Talk About It”, “Some Guys Have All the Luck”, “The First Cut is the Deepest”; these are all iconic tracks and perhaps the man – now in his fifth decade in the industry – isn’t given the credit he deserves?

Arriving at our none-too-shabbily-positioned seats to the rear of the Canary’s stadium at 7:40pm, the “support act” was already playing; an anonymous tuxedo-ed string crew akin to the Glenn Miller band. Perhaps it was because they had already started when we sat down, or because people were still milling about finding their seats, but I wasn’t at all impressed. They conjured no atmosphere of excitement and failed to engage 90% of the crowd. When Rod played Earl’s Court a couple of years ago he had Chrissie Hynde and The Pretenders opening for him – did the budget not stretch that far this time around?


After a surprisingly brief fifteen minute change-over, the main man took to the stage at 8:15pm. At 66 you have to admire his energy: he performed a blistering two hour set with no formal interval and just two brief wardrobe transformations. All his greatest hits were included (at least I didn’t consciously notice any glaring omissions), as well as a smattering of fan favourites and jazzier Great American Songbook selections. Please don’t ask me for a comprehensive set-list, though.

As we edge ever closer to summer, however, I did feel that the atmosphere was tainted by the daylight, which stuck around well into the second hour. Unavoidable in an open top stadium, granted, but it reduced the spectacle of the stage lighting and giant video projection screen – as well as highlighting just how many people felt the need to wander about during the show!

Now, I understand that *some* people may need the loo (I even did at one point – surprise, surprise), it’s unavoidable, but there was never a time when there wasn’t a mob of people walking/skipping/dancing down the stands or across the open space at the rear of the on-pitch seating – were people really that blasé about missing the performance and that bloody desperate for alcohol? Really??!!

Rod has long been renowned for his raspy voice, but I also don’t believe the sound system did him any favours on Wednesday. Again, it could be down to the fact it was an open-top stadium rather than an arena, but he often sounded muffled (particularly when speaking to the audience) and was over-powered by the orchestration. He was also clearly upstaged by his powerful female backing singers who he often left to ad-lib or reach the high notes for him.

But then he is approaching 70, and his vivacious energy could not be faulted, even if his performance (and humorous lack of finesse at dancing) occasionally could. Following a rousing sing-along encore of “Sailing” (what else?), we spilled out of the ground at 10:15pm and straight into utter gridlock in the car park for what felt like hours. Three car loads of irate drivers nearly came to blows as a Land Rover tried to edge into the queue and nicked the bummer of a Micra! It was the kind of atmosphere-sapping palaver which puts a real downer on a night; but at least we got some chips out of it!


In a CR@B Shell: With a remarkable canon of sing-along classics at his disposal, it’s a shame that the lack of atmosphere and questionable sound system at Carrow Road tainted an animated performance from a punk/rock veteran who just refuses to retire.
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Happy Hour (or Two)

Who? Al Murray
What? Barrel of Fun – Extra
When? Sunday 17th April 2011
Where? Norwich Theatre Royal
Why? He cancelled last time but made up for it with this extra date in Norfolk's capital
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It seems adverse to say that I was apprehensive about going to a live show that I wanted to see enough to book tickets, but when you discover that you're sitting in the second row at a stand up gig where the comedian's entire act revolves around his larger than life persona isolating then poking fun at members of his audience, you can, perhaps, understand my apprehension.

Al Murray, the jolly, jingoistic, in yer face pub landlord is certainly a whirlwind to behold. He took to the Theatre Royal stage on this extra date of his “Barrel of Fun” tour for a mammoth two hours and twenty minutes – and that's after I've deducted twenty minutes for the interval! Value for money for sure, and an almighty stretch considering he barely shuts his motor-mouth for the entire show, even if he is constantly whetting his whistle with pint after pint... after pint!

Even without his iconic bar set for comfort, the maroon-jacketed blurter lost none of his on-stage charisma, so enraptured in his madcap alter ego is he, bounding, chortling and stamping his way through the evening in his Doc Martins. It is masterful how effortlessly he manages to tie audience member's most off-the-wall affectations into riotous – but (mostly) well-meaning – put-downs, zipping through the rows with a barrage of questions and yet somehow being able to take all this on board and refer back to it later in the gig without once slipping up.

Yes, in case you were wondering, I did get picked on. Asked to stand-up to parade my stripy “convict” top to the auditorium, Al then set about ripping me to shreds simply because my favourite book is Frankenstein (well, one of; it was the first title to spring to mind), before coming to the assumption that I must therefore like Star Wars and Doctor Who, too (in fairness, he hit the nail pretty firmly on the head there!) and should most definitely grow up. Oh, and he called me a twat; the charmer!

It may sound harsh, but trust me, I got off lightly compared to some of the other old balls– I mean, members of the public seated around me. I was never returned to, but many found themselves the subject of night-long callbacks and jests; from the guy who worked at Apple (“iPads are shit”), to the “dumb” student wasting three years on a Sports degree (“learning to kick a ball”), and the poor couple who have been going out for three years but still live separately (“sort it out!”). Oh, and then there was the woman who ran an Astronomy-themed B&B... sometimes you can't make it up!

Following the intermission, the second half continued in much the same vein to the first, but gradually became more familiar as Al proceeded to deliver his “inspirational” teachings to us. As he brought out his inflatable globe and started satirising each and every country (all the while hailing “Great” Britain the best), I began to pick up on his well-rehearsed act, having seen him deliver the same routine on various TV shows and DVDs. These “greatest hits” were still hilarious (particularly the topical ad-libs), but lacked the freshness or interactive wit which made the opening act such a hoot. Nevertheless, Al Murray is still well worth checking out live, as every night is guaranteed to be a completely different experience – just try to avoid sitting in the first two rows!


In a CR@B Shell: The laddish landlord was well and truly on form in Norwich, delivering one ale of a funny show. The second half was more structured than the freestyling first, but Al Murray truly shone brightest when ad-libbing insults to his “clientèle”. I'd definitely be up for another round!
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Puppet Master(bation)

Who? Avenue Q
What? Sesame Street goes X-rated!
When? 17th March 2011
Where? Norwich Theatre Royal
Why? Part of the UK leg of the World Tour
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Remember how hilarious it was hunting down the infamous lost “adult” episode of Rainbow when you were younger and sniggering at the usually joyous and innocent George, Zippy and Bungle acting like smutty, foul-mouthed goons? Well now you don’t have to – because Avenue Q delivers exactly the same culture clash in an adults-only musical stage show extravaganza!

The Broadway production’s plot is a real potpourri of personal and worldly issues played out satirically by products of our childhood. The titular locale – essentially a downtrodden take on Sesame Street – is in an outer borough of New York, where furry “monsters” interact with human residents as they learn many life lessons associated with growing up: leaving university, finding a purpose in the real world, coming to terms with your sexuality, juggling a career with commitments, racism, falling in love, etcetera. Porn also comes up a lot, too. Naturally.

The scores of musical numbers are catchy, wittily-worded clap-along treats: “What Do You Do with a B.A. In English” hit a real chord with me, while “It Sucks To Be Me” and “The Internet is For Porn” had the audience in stitches. “Schadenfreude” – about deriding amusements from other’s misfortune – was the funkiest number, however, some songs – such as “Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist” – seemed awkwardly shoehorned-in simply to make a point. It certainly makes for an interesting, if scattershot, “educational” experience.

Some characters are portrayed by puppets, held and performed by visible-but-ignored actors, who interact with other players performing their roles in the more traditional sense. It does take some getting used to, especially as the lead human Princeton (Adam Pettigrew) is a puppet, while other humans are not. Trekkie Monster (Chris Thatcher), who stays in his room downloading porn all day, is a vulgar riff on Sesame Street’s unruly Cookie Monster, while best friends Rod (Pettigrew again) and Nicky (Thatcher again) vocalise the latent homoeroticism forever associated with Burt and Ernie.

Most disconcerting for me was Avenue Q’s go-to handyman Gary Coleman (Matthew J. Henry). Yes, that Gary Coleman. A fictionalised representation of a genuine celebrity lampooning his fall from grace since his status as a child star faded. I wasn’t aware before the show, but I was fairly certain that the real Gary Coleman did not have a hand in writing the script (he did not), so I couldn’t quite work out why he was there; it didn’t really fit with the rest of the production. Considering the Diff’rent Strokes star died just last year, it was also uncomfortable sniggering at him, even if it is a sardonic exaggeration.

Kudos to the hard-working puppeteers who sing, act and emote via their hand-held characters fantastically. But given their visibility it does irk when puppets are traded to substitute performers while the puppeteers portray multiple characters – even if they do still throw their voices to retain continuity. Video screens intermittently slid down to screen childishly animated skits; they garner a minor chuckle but are ultimately unnecessary, as was an uncomfortable descent into the audience to coerce viewers into “raising funds” for lead female Kate Monster’s (Rachel Jerram) dream school.


In a CR@B Shell: Your inner child will laugh itself silly at watching puppets sing, swear and shag (!!) on stage, but the continuous attempts to parody a multitude of “enlightening” life lessons leads to a barmy, disjointed and uneven show.
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* The photographs are not from the Norwich show and actors on the night differed from those shown.

Bad Chavvy Trouble

Who? Imogen Heap
What? Leg 7(!) of the Ellipse World Tour
When? Sunday 7th November, 2010
Where? The Waterfront, Norwich
Why? Because this gal can’t stop touring!
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Stopping off at the Waterfront in Norwich on the latest leg of her seemingly never-ending Ellipse World Tour (next stop: Europe, before finishing up in South Africa!!), the incomparable one woman band Ms. Heap may very well have delivered the best gig I have seen her play yet (this being the third time I have seen her live since early 2007).

I say “may” because the performance was spoiled for me by two incidents in the throng of the crowd. Neither of which were Imogen’s fault, but as any gig-goer will know: the venue's atmosphere can either make or break a gig, and when a trio of crude, ignorant and mouthy chavs are stood close by you drinking, swearing and mouthing off at anyone who would dare ask for quiet during an acoustic number, it doesn’t half wear your enthusiasm for the music down.

Thankfully, some five songs in, the three must-be-twats were either ejected or moved to a dark corner to question the logic in paying nearly twenty quid to attend an intimate gig only to yak disrespectfully over the performance. Alas, the damage had been done and it took me a while to get back into the spirit of the evening, only for another member of the crowd to faint on top of us some three quarters of the way through.

Please don’t misinterpret my irritation: I am in no way blaming the poor girl for blacking out (how inhuman do you think I am?!) and I’m sure her and her partner’s evening was thoroughly ruined by the unfortunate incident, but the flash of panic as someone lays unconscious on the floor a foot away from you takes some getting over – after all, this isn’t a Michael Jackson world tour where fainting fans being crowd-surfed to the safety of the security staff is a regular occurrence (seriously, check out the crowd shots throughout the Dangerous Tour in Bucharest DVD – the first aiders must have been rushed off their feet!!).

Getting back to last Sunday's on-stage activity, I was thoroughly impressed by the set-list, which Immi proclaimed was voted for by fans online prior to every stop of the tour, thus what she was playing was exclusive to Norwich. “Come Here Boy”, penned at the age of just 16 and committed to disc on 1998’s debut iMegaphone, and “Let Go”, from the oft-overlooked Frou Frou album and made famous by its inclusion in Zach Braff’s Garden State, gave a broader range to the song choices, although there was still room for firm favourites “The Moment I Said It”, “Just For Now” and “Hide & Seek”, which naturally rounded off the encore with a crowd sing-along.

Given the intricate depth to each of Imogen’s various compositions, she once again brought back her hard-working support acts – acoustic guitarist and "noise-maker" Ben Christopher and hauntingly inventive violin duo Geese, both of whom I can recommend – to lend a hand in bringing her multifarious recordings to life live on stage.

The perils of recreating such complex and technologically-reliant tracks were brought to the fore when an attempt to record (and then loop) a string melody for “Let Go” was thrice halted and only resolved when Immi’s wrist-mics were used in lieu of the more traditional handheld voice amplifier. Thankfully her (non-chav) fanbase are a patient enough bunch and were happy to listen to her scatty-but-amiable banter and random anecdotes while the technician’s scratched their heads under the sweltering heat of the impressive stage lighting.

Personal highlights for me were the impressively-layered construction of “First Train Home” from wine glass rim sound effects to complete track before our ears, main-set closer “Tidal” – for which Imogen donned a pair of Kanye West shutter specs and a white key-tar to rock out for a funky extended riff – and Speak For Yourself’s “Goodnight And Go”, likewise extended with a rock-fuelled middle eight replete with a heavy drum solo (and repeated with the lights out to showcase the temperamental instrument’s amazing touch-sensitive light show).

Never one to rest on her laurels, Imogen’s Norwich exclusive set-list was a perfect mix of crowd pleasers and fan favourite album tracks:

1. The Walk
2. Swoon
3. Come Here Boy
4. Wait It Out
5. First Train Home
6. Little Bird
7. Canvas
8. A Ha!
9. Speeding Cars
10. Let Go
11. Just For Now
12. Between Sheets
13. Goodnight And Go
14. Headlock
15. Tidal

16. The Moment I Said It
17. Hide & Seek


In a CR@B Shell: Crowd frustration aside, the musician’s musician put on yet another stunning and crowd-pleasing performance. This was an elaborate and diverse set with Immi in high spirits off the back of selling out the Royal Albert Hall 2 nights previous.
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All photos from http://www.shakenstir.co.uk/ review of Imogen's Liverpool gig, which you can find HERE. All credit where due, no copyright infringement intended.

Lost In a Live Odyssey

Who? Delays
What? Live on their UK Tour
When? 7th June 2010
Where? Norwich Arts Centre
Why? A precursor to the release of their new album on June 21st
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BUDGET DELAYS: “Delays: 9:30-10:15” proclaimed the chalkboard on the door of the Norwich Arts Centre’s refurbished-church auditorium ahead of last night’s 8pm opening. At a bargainous £10 a ticket (£11 on the door), I could hardly moan at a 45 minute set, well aware of the passion and vigour the boys from Southampton put into their exuberant and energetic performances. Yet on the previous five occasions I have been wowed by the genre-straddling band live since 2006, they have always played for more than an hour, and with more songs than ever in their repertoire ahead of this month’s release of fourth album Star Tiger, Star Ariel, a slim line runtime seemed somewhat contradictory.

Contradictory and, as it transpired, utter bollocks, as brother’s Greg and Aaron Gilbert, Colin Fox and Matthew “Rowly” Rowlinson eventually stepped off the stage at gone 10:40pm, luminous with sweat and pride after rocking the 300-plus crowd with a powerhouse set chock full of crowd-pleasing hits (“Nearer Than Heaven” which couldn't have been more apt given the venue, “Long Time Coming”, “Valentine”), fan favourite gems (“Lost In A Melody”, “Friends Are False”), surprise bombshells (“Bedroom Scene”, “Panic Attacks”) and glorious new delights (“Lost Estate”, “In Brilliant Sunshine”). Value for money or what?! Pity there was no merchandise for sale amid the carved stone pillars, though, as the band-designed t-shirts always make a fab addition to my wardrobe.

AUDITORY HIGHLIGHTS: As soon as the synth sounded out around the cavernous, high-ceiling hall for the pulsing intro to euphoric opener (and personal favourite) “Lost In A Melody”, I was ecstatic with glee, and the elation did not relent until long after we left the Norfolk province. This gig-induced high makes any endeavour to remember a full and chronological set list kinda impossible (I only had two pints all evening, I swear!), but needless to say, many-a-song was greeted with a roaring cheer and air-punch from yours truly.


“Friends Are False” was the only inclusion from 2008’s unjustly marginalised Everything’s The Rush, but rousing B-side “Panic Attacks” from the Love Made Visible EP (2007) went some way to addressing the issue. “Bedroom Scene” is something of a live rarity, a swirling, poignant album track from debut Faded Seaside Glamour (2004), and who could resist a dig at chavs in the form of “This Town’s Religion”? Not I.

PREVIOUSLY UNSUNG: With the album release being delayed (*titter and guffaw*) until after this tour has wrapped, the band have been previewing new tracks to audiences who haven’t yet heard them. This can be something of a gamble when played alongside celebrated hits and I’m sure wasn’t quite the idea when the tour dates were booked months in advance (that’s the unpredictability of the music industry for ya). Nevertheless, the new material was well appreciated by the attentive Arts Centre crowd (even if we couldn’t sing along) and our appetites were sufficiently whetted prior to June 21st with premieres of “Lost Estate” and “In Brilliant Sunshine” alongside the ethereal opener (and complimentary download) “Find A Home (New Forest Shaker)” and stunning new single “Unsung” (released next Monday), for which promotion was provided.

ENCORE HECKLES: As the majestic and anthemic stomper that is “Valentine” came to a heady close, frontman Greg announced that normally the band would leave the stage momentarily before returning for an encore, however tonight he would consult with drummer and seemingly appointed “Cap-i-tan” Rowly to see whether this theatrical contrivance would be necessary. Turns out it wasn’t and Greg launched his faultless falsetto into the glorious You See Colours (2006) opener “You and Me”, but not before an impatient attendee called out “Hurry up; I’ve got a train to catch!” Greg’s sympathetic reply? “Fuck off then.” Giggles at a gig – what more could you ask for? Ah yes: merchandise…

Alas, tonight’s stop at Haymakers in nearby Cambridge sees the end of this pre-album tour which began in May, but word on the forum is that a post-STSA promo tour is in the works for October (fingers crossed!). Plenty of time for me to memorise the lyrics to eleven more harmonious gems, then – and for the guys to get creative and design some funky album-flavoured t-shirts for me to fawn over!!


CR@B Verdict: A dazzling potpourri of exuberant delights from a band who seriously deserve to be playing bigger venues than a church in Norwich. That said, the intimate-yet-grandiose setting infused the crowd with the band’s colossal fervour, leading to a mighty night all round. Amen.
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