Maid of Dishonour

Cine Review: BRIDESMAIDS
15 – 125mins – 2011
Written by: Annie Mumolo and Kristen Wiig
Directed by: Paul Feig,
Starring: Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolf, Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy, Chris O’Dowd, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Ellie Kemper, Jill Clayburgh, Matt Lucas, Rebel Wilson, John Hamm
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Surpassing the hardly meagre takings of other Judd Apatow-produced big hitters such as Superbad and Knocked Up, the Kristen Wiig co-written Bridesmaids has proven beyond any questionable doubt that sisters can do it for themselves. By “it” of course I mean: get pissed, act like crude kids and royally fuck up to comedic success – but hey, if it’s good enough for the Wolfpack…

Wiig (Whip It!, Paul) grants herself top billing, starring as 30-something Annie, a woman who always thinks she’s hitting rock bottom, until the next disaster befalls her shambles of a life. Dumped, penniless and renting a room from a pair of clueless chubby siblings (Wilson and Lucas) after her bakery business went bust in the recession, Annie futility pines for more from her arrogant fuck buddy (Mad Men’s Hamm) while driving a shit-heap of a car and making ends meet as a lowly cashier at a high street jewellers.

Annie’s life-long BFF, Lillian (Wiig’s MacGruber co-star Rudolf), meanwhile, seems to be moving onwards and upwards with her life, having recently gotten engaged and befriending her fiancé’s boss’s glamorous, loaded and oh-so-perfect wife, Helen (Byrne). Lillian naturally asks Annie to be her maid of honour, but this doesn’t stop jealousy immediately flaring up as bridesmaid’s old and new compete for Lillian’s allegiance in the lead up to her big day.

Supported by an ensemble of colourful misfit cohorts (McLendon-Covey, Kemper and McCarthy), Annie and Helen attempt to give Lillian her dream send-off, but their competitive natures often lead to cringingly awkward but laugh-out-loud hilarious calamities which begin to threaten Annie’s friendship with Lillian – and her involvement in the fast-approaching nuptials.

Wiig is fantastically credible in the central role; Annie’s depressing situation evoking sympathy from the audience without her frustrations becoming so despairingly insurmountable that you pity her plight. The authenticity of the social drama is sometimes at odds with the gross-out humour (shitting in the street being the ultimate low) – to such an extent that you feel the film would still be watchable even without the juvenile laughs – but an interesting (if potent) cocktail it sure does make.

McCarthy is also impressive as the vulgar, no-nonsense porker of the pack, Megan, who plays the oddball role with confidence and gusto without becoming the offensive loser that Zach Galifianakis became in The Hangover Part II (reviewed HERE). But for me the stand-out performance goes to The IT Crowd’s leading Irishman Chris O’Dowd who plays amiable traffic cop Nathan Rhodes. Down-to-earth, charming and fun; he’s the kind of guy Annie should be dating, proving that if women can act like drunken louts, then men can be caring and kind-hearted. See, we aren’t all self-obsessed jerks.


In a CR@B Shell: A combustible cocktail of humorous and heartfelt, Bridesmaids is an engaging comedy-drama which bestows its 30-plus femmes with kaleidoscopic shades to their personalities beyond the customary disapproving spouse stereotype. At just over two hours, however, it does feel like it could do with a trim to up the pace and sustain enthusiasm.
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This One Time, at Cheer Camp...

DVD Review: FIRED UP! – UNCUT EDITION
15 – 87mins – 2009
Written by: Freedom Jones
Directed by: Will Gluck
Starring: Nicholas D’Agosto, Eric Christian Olsen, Sarah Roemer, Molly Sims, Danneel Harris, David Walton, Juliette Goglia, Adhir Kalyan, Margo Harshman, Hayley Marie Norman, Jake Sandvig, Annalynne McCord, Philip Baker Hall, John Michael Higgins
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Coach: “How do you spell ‘fired up’?”
Cheerleaders: “F! U!”
Shawn: “Not really…”

Before he hit the big league with last year's girl-who-cried-whore comedy Easy A (it’s funnier than it sounds; trust my review), director Will Gluck produced another fine – but thoroughly underrated – teen sex comedy in Fired Up! Shawn (D’Agosto) and Nick (Olsen) are two casanova high school football studs who – outraged at the thought of spending an entire three weeks without getting some lady action – ditch football camp in favour of spending the summer at cheer camp.

As cocksure wordsmith Nick works his lips through the 300 fit and limber cheerleading attendees, only stalling when trying to seduce married head coach Diora (Simms), Shawn finds himself falling for the one girl who is clued-up to their underhand motives and impervious to their flirtacious flattery – the captain of their own team, Carly (Roemer), who just so happens to also be dating the biggest douchebag alive in university fresher “Dr.” Rick (Walton).

Carly: “He’s Pre-med… at Illinois ”
Shawn: “Then why do you call yourself doctor?”
Rick: “Why put off the inevitable?”

Sure, the plot is predictably sanguine fare as the camp’s all-important climatic competition looms and Nick pressurises Shawn into jumping ship early in favour of a football player’s house party (love or X-box – hmm, tough choice!!), but Fired Up! has real flair which elevates it above a generic direct-to-video fusion of archetypal genre tent-poles American Pie and Bring It On. Incidentally, the scene in which the entire camp lips syncs along to an outdoor screening of the “iconic” Kirsten Dunst cheer flick is laugh-out-loud hilarious.

All the ingredients which made Easy A such a thoroughly fresh and enjoyably edgy experience are in place: a deluge of self-aware popular culture references (“Animal House reference! LOVE IT!”), witty dialogue (“I told them in Spanish – how much clearer could I have been?”), quotable quips (“….just saying!”), an affinity towards costumed mascots and genuine characters with actual personalities. Sure, there’s also room for the mandatory bad language and (brief) scenes of gratuitous nudity, but even with such sex-obsessed personas, the lead duo are surprisingly likeable lads – and not the single-minded juvenile chumps they first appear to be.

Add into the mix a buoyant, up-beat soundtrack (The Ting Tings, Chumbawumba, Whitesnake, Avril Lavigne, OPP), bright, summery cinematography and a team of uniquely kooky supporting players who breath life into their niche clichés (brainiac younger sister, closet lesbian, camp extrovert, bohemian stoner), and you have yourself a vivacious and varied cheerleader movie which you’ll like even if you “could have one in the mouth and two in the hand and still win a straight award”… What? Just saying!


In a CR@B Shell: Much like a cheer pyramid, Fired Up! is a teen sex comedy which is so much more than the sum of its nimble parts. Spunky characters with audacious attitudes meant that “I was laughing, I, I, was laughing!” and I’m pleased to report that the director didn’t change his game too dramatically for his follow-up effort. “Goooooo Gluck!”
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The Brawl of Rome

TV Review: SPARTACUS: BLOOD AND SAND – THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON
18 – 629mins – 2010
Created by: Stephen S. DeKnight
Executive Producers: Stephen S. DeKnight, Robert Tapert, Sam Raimi, Joshua Donen
Starring: Andy Whitfield, John Hannah, Lucy Lawless, Manu Bennett, Viva Bianca, Peter Mensah, Jai Courtney, Nick Tarabay, Erin Cummings, Lesley-Ann Brandt, Katrina Law, Craig Parker
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Hyper-stylised in the same green screen heavy comic book fashion as Zack Snyder’s vibrant 300, US channel Starz’s hit historical action series Spartacus: Blood and Sand is an effervescent cacophony of über violent slo-mo battles sequences, hyperbolic gore, full frontal sex scenes and the kind of language that would make even Roy “Chubby” Brown blush. To say it isn’t for the fainthearted is something of an understatement.

The torrent of graphic adult content (purportedly to portray the ancient Roman society as authentically as possible) certainly takes some getting used to; seeing amiable Scot John Hannah – a man best known for his comic roles in Four Weddings and a Funeral and The Mummy – roughly take a slave girl doggy style while he makes idle chatter with his bathing wife, Lucretia (Lucy Xena Lawless), seems a gratuitous exercise in titillating the lowest common denominator, but if you learn to look beyond the frequent vulgarities (and tune out the words “fuck”, “c*nt” and “cock”), you’ll find there’s adequate substance to counterbalance Blood and Sand’s in-your-face style.

The early episodes in this 13 episode first run see our Thracian hero (Andy Whitfield) betrayed by Roman general Gaius Claudius Glaber (Craig Parker), separated from his loving wife, Sura (Erin Cummings), and enslaved to fight for his life as a gladiator in the ludus (or training compound) of ambitious but lowly domina (master) Quintus Lentulus Batiatus (Hannah). Aside from the grief swirling beneath Spartacus’s buff macho exterior, there’s little depth to the indulgence as heads roll, men fall and claret splatters the screen in overly protracted arena showdowns. Episode 4, “The Thing in the Pit”, is a prime unapologetically visceral standout.

But as the series progresses, layers compound and development is made – so fluid it’s almost subtle – as allegiances are formed, enemies are made and plots are put into motion. The quickly-revered Spartacus befriends fellow slave fighter Varro (Jai Courtney), a man who fights to sustain his wife and child, while Capua ’s champion, the Gual, Crixus (Manu Sinbad Bennett), takes a patent disliking to the newcomer who rivals his crown. Even in the political arena it’s every man for himself, as Batiatus reveals a wickedly devious edge in his acquirement of coin and nobility, and Lucretia prevails through a difficult acquaintanceship with snotty senator’s daughter – and Glaber’s wife – Illithiya (Viva Bianca), purely for societal gain.

Life is insignificant, everyone is a bastard and loyalty is a foreign concept in this dog-eat-dog culture. But there are varying degrees of immorality, and you will find your opinions shifting as frequently as the sands. Meathead Crixus lets his elevated status go to his head and you don’t squirm when he is humbled, but he fights for honour and his secret romance with Lucretia’s servant Naevia (Lesley-Ann Brandt) proves that a heart beats beneath his six pack. Conversely, Batiatus’s bookkeeper-come-henchman, the crippled Ashur (Nick Tarabay), initially appears harmless enough, but he has a slimy and shrewd manner which saw him fall greatly in my estimations.

I found myself becoming evermore intrigued and attached to the character’s cause as the season advanced and – much like its overworked gladiators – grew ever stronger. A way to judge your enjoyment of Spartacus is to grade your level of outrage as heroes turn to villains and lives are extinguished at a disgraceful rate of knots. Episodes “Delicate Things”, “Mark of the Brotherhood”, “Whore” and “Party Favours” all left me dumb-founded at the unreservedly brave and brazen storytelling, and salivating at the prospect of more to come.

A myriad of personal themes and foiled schemes collide in spectacularly epic fashion in the season finale “Kill Them All” as a vengeful Spartacus leads Batiatus’s gladiator throng in an uprising against their insidious dominus. The relentless pace and interweaving punchlines to many of the character’s long-fated journeys highlights just how many threads this thrilling saga has deftly spun and juggled inbetween the headline-grabbing, crowd-pleasing spectacle of tits and titans. Clearly you can have your cock and eat it…


In a CR@B Shell: Flesh and death are in abundance in this testosterone-pumped swords and scandal saga. Lower your inhibitions, adjust to the primal attitude and ostentatious styling and soon you’ll discover that Blood and Sand is a powerhouse of titillating storytelling which rewards greatly for sticking with its bold, base characters. Glory awaits, brave viewer.
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